So loud, everyone in our circle leans in or cups one ear with a hand, trying to hear the person in the middle of our circle who is finishing doing The Work.
I was so undecided about coming to this retreat. I’m running one in less than a month.
I mean, I do The Work all the time, with others in a group. Year of Inquiry is underway. I’ve devoted a huge part of my life to questioning my stressful believing.
Do I really need more days away from daily life, answering four questions?
Squirm.
Can’t we just have fun, play, watch good movies, read good books? Give it a rest, jeez.
But despite a bit of this chatter, I knew to go. I knew to figure out my calendar and switch some previously made appointments and drive to Canada and take a ferry to an island….and gather with others wanting to do The Work.
I’ve had three very significant deaths in my life this past year (one was a tree), I’ve had something inside that’s wanted to slow way down in business, I’ve worried about one of my sisters, I’ve felt my own mortality, I’ve lost touch with a good friend, I’ve felt a depth of grief beyond what I ever expected.
My inner world of diving deeper into the emotions and discovering the stories behind them has become more and more sharp as a focus.
I feel so excited, somehow. Thrilled even.
What is truth? What is this feeling inside? How do I share this honesty, connection, clarity, love? What is this sadness, or heart-break? How do I work with rage?
So I arrived, slightly tentative because of believing the thought I don’t have time for this, but open. Willing. Here.
Knowing I don’t have time NOT to do this.
As we close our circle for Day One, Roxann, our guide and facilitator (and Byron Katie’s daughter), suggests we pull all our back jack chairs in closer so we can hear each other speak as we check out for the night.
I feel energized and wide awake, aware, filled with images of the work I’ve witnessed all day, applied to my own stories.
Every single time someone else did The Work, I found my own memory bank where I could relate, looking through the files.
Human stories tend to repeat themselves. As Byron Katie says, “there are no new stressful thoughts.”
Everyone’s work is also my work. They speak, but as I sit with them witnessing, being there, my beliefs, feelings and stories are also getting cleaned up, seen, undone.
The stories are not personal.
A woman told one story of no biological father, and an abusive step dad. Even though my story of father is mostly a good one, I could find my abandonment and fury at someone else I loved so much, and how unfair it felt.
A strong and quiet young women felt stalked by a male roommate. I could find a time I felt pursued aggressively and so angry and frightened.
Another elegant older woman with a beautiful accent felt betrayed by her sister during a conversation. I could remember the opinions of my sisters as painful.
A man felt bullied by his drunken father. I remembered a boyfriend, long ago, who repulsed me on the phone during a conversation when he was drunk.
A beautiful young mother was betrayed by her husband. I remembered my first marriage and the shock I experienced when my husband left.
Age-old stories, but important tales to sit with personally, and question.
These are our objections to reality.
And all the inquirers gathering there did it together. All witnessing together, which always somehow creates a very sacred space and beautiful form of inquiry.
Oh what a relief, inspiration, joy, tears, the full range of feelings within to be moved by such work, and discover that what we thought was true, is not Absolutely True.
Do you have a troubling story?
It doesn’t have to be the worst story in the world (although it’s OK if it is).
Come to retreat. I’ve never heard anyone ever say they regret spending time doing The Work on the hardships they’ve endured.
Still spots in October Retreat 10/17-10/21. Two rooms still open in retreat house for out-of-town visitors. Such a powerful autumn reset for identifying our thoughts, questioning them, and entering our world with a new pair of glasses.
*Sign up for Deep Divers Group Sunday October 14th 2-6pm at Goldilocks Cottage ($50)
*November 3rd 2-5 pm at East West books sign up here ($40)
(Deep Divers Living Turnarounds group meets in 2019 in January, February, April and June. Come to one, or all).
Winter Retreat at Breitenbush Dec 6-9 for this immersion soaking in The Work of Byron Katie deeply before the new year.
Much love,
Grace
“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.”