Such fantastic moments are being shared by Summer Camp for The Mind inquirers. Powerful, stressful, intense moments with other humans, with the body, with a loved one, with a stranger, with a job.
I get sooooo inspired by everyone’s process, by hearing inquiry. It’s amazing how this work is so freeing and wise by simply listening to the answers of people who are DOING The Work.
OK, I’ll stop ranting and raving about how excited I am. Let’s look at a thought I was reminded of in someone’s inquiry:
He betrayed me.
You might use “she” or you might use “God” or you might use “it” (the body betrayed me, or ‘money’ betrayed me, or this job betrayed me).
The thing about betrayal is you feel tricked, fooled. Like you thought one thing, and then….
….the wonderful thing you expected didn’t happen, or something really BAD happened and it was a massive surprise.
The etymology of the word “betrayal” is from the Latin “to hand over” or “to unintentionally show true character”. Nothing so harsh in these words. But it later began to mean “to expose to the enemy” or “mislead, deceive, delude”.
Like being led in the wrong direction, made vulnerable to pain, or hurt.
This is an incredible thing to question, the deep belief that because someone “betrayed” me, I am exposed to hurt….and more hurt.
I made a short list of people who I believed betrayed me, in any way at all.
A very close friend, a sister, a romantic interest, a co-worker, the rose bush stump in our back yard that I stepped on at age seven.
THEY BETRAYED ME!
I realized, I DID believe the definition given in the dictionary, the etymology of the word. I believed these people surprised me unexpectedly with exposure to pain, loss, hurt, rejection.
Is it true they plopped me or thrust me into a world of pain, loss, hurt or rejection?
Hmmm.
YES.
Can I absolutely know this is true that the thing I’m looking at, the person, the incident….was a betrayal? Or permanently damaging? Or 100% hurt 24/7 for my entire life in all ways?
No.
Even if I’m injured and I’ll never have the same body again….I notice without injury I’ll never have the same body again, too (it’s always changing and will eventually die). Even if I’m feeling hurt about what a person is doing or did, my life continues and who am I to say it’s worse, or “bad” because of the way it’s going?
Who would I be without the story of betrayal, or hurt?
Right now. Here in this moment. What if I forgot, or couldn’t think “HE BETRAYED ME” in any way whatsoever.
Without the thought, I look around the room and out the french doors of the cottage, and see a wild bunny nibbling on something in the grass. I hear the washing machine start to spin. I see an invisible silent breeze flutter through the cherry tree leaves. I hear a small airplane overhead. I have infinite possibilities of pictures in my head about the world….imagination. Events I remember, wonderings about things to come.
Holding it all in HERE, Now.
No way to conclude in any kind of finality “I was hurt” when I thought I was.
What if I turned the thought around?
He healed me. He did not betray me.
Can I find examples?
I have found them for every single one of the incidents, experiences, situations, events that I considered betrayals. Good things came from them all:
- I was cast free from the current trajectory of my life in relationship, and got to completely reset the course. I got to learn about relationship with me, and make that the primary love of my life. Ahhhhhh. Isn’t that what I MOST wanted?
- My business grew and improved to heights I didn’t imagine were possible. I found out legally I could be of service in ways I didn’t realize. I felt more confident and clear.
- I was given the perfect opportunity to question my thinking at an extremely deep level, which is all I ever really truly wanted. Enlightenment about life and the world, and to see the safety and support around me.
- I never forgot that beautiful little backyard where my family lived for only a year where my foot collided with a trimmed rose bush, and I was in bed for a week with the mumps. The awareness of temporarily being here on planet earth, in a body that can be “hurt”. Seeing this clearly at age seven, feeling gratitude for watching the abilities to walk come, and go, and come again.
- Noticing that with absolutely no money to my name (or very, very little) I survived. Very well, actually. Without money being required for happiness. What an incredible lesson to learn.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Year of Inquiry is officially taking registrations for 2017-2018. Read all about it HERE. It’s the most wonderful adventure. ITW candidates can earn credit work an entire School for The Work plus 80 credits more.