July 2016 – Page 3 – The Work of Byron Katie with Grace

July 4, 2016

Tasting the freedom of NO liking, wanting, hoping for Something Else

Not long ago I was working with an inquirer who heard about a friend’s new job, and felt jealous.

A month before, I worked with an inquirer who was jealous of her husband’s career success (they were in the same line of work).

Sometimes, people feel jealous around love relationships….my partner, or my love-interest, is drawn or attracted to someone else (not me) and I feel threatened.

it feels so true that this other person has it made and we haven’t made it. They’re set. They’re safe. They’re loved. They’ve arrived.

People even feel this way about other people who have “awakened” or “woken up” spiritually.

They’ve gotten “there”.

Not me.

I’m left out here in the dust without security, stability, love, peace, intimacy, popularity or success.

Wow. It’s a rough place to be.

The first thing I always notice about this kind of comparison, is that whomever we’re looking at, who has “more” of something desirable….

….we feel absolutely positive they’re having a better time than we are. They are happier, more fulfilled, doing it right, proud, satisfied, peaceful, relaxed.

Those people with all that money, fame, beauty, even those “spiritually enlightened” people are enjoying themselves.

Not me.

So I better keep trying to get over there. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll spend money, I’ll travel, I’ll go on trainings or retreats, I’ll fix myself, I’ll plan. I won’t truly rest until I get what I want.

What I want is not right here. I have to go get it.

But who would you be without thinking that happiness is achieved by getting “x” or doing “y”? Who would you be without comparing in any way?

Who would you be without believing other people are happier than you if they have “more” of something? Who would you be without the story that achieving “x” means you’re now at peace forevermore, or at least closer to it than if you didn’t achieve “x”?

Huh.

It’s weird.

Who WOULD I be?

No idea.

You mean….I can stop trying?

But. What if I lay down in the street and just let cars run over me? What if, when I stop, I die? What if I dissolve into a puddle and stop caring? Won’t that be depressing? Or sad? What if I never make a bunch of money, then, or find the perfect partner, or do that thing?

Nooooooooooooooooo!

Except.

If I don’t need that other thing in order to be happy, like I really don’t need the same job as my friend just got, what would that be like?

What if I didn’t need something called “awakening” or “to become enlightened” right NOW in order to be happy?

What would it be like to let go of all of it? No more expectations. No more plans, hopes, wishes.

No more waiting.

No. Waiting.

Ha ha.

Wheeeee!!

“That’s how powerful LIKE and DISLIKE are. They steal your entire life. They own you. They possess you. They destroy your life and they keep you from God. But if you watch this process of “like” and “dislike”….and you stop participating in this process anymore, it’s like the ants step off the treadmill. ‘I don’t care who’s ahead. I’m done with the entire process of liking and disliking’. You no longer have to stay there to monitor or participate. When you no longer play in that process, your state of being is released. At that point you are a gift to all of humanity.” ~ Michael Singer in a talk on Preferences

Much love,

Grace

July 4, 2016

I HAVE TO to get ready….is it true?

You "have to" do stuff to get ready.... are you absolutely sure it's true you can't relax in this moment? — You “have to” do stuff to get ready….are you absolutely sure it’s true you can’t relax in this moment?

It’s one of those quiet, gray, warm early mornings in the Pacific Northwest where I live.

I love how no one else is awake in the house.

I hear the hum of the refrigerator, and the high strange chirping call of an eagle way up high in a tree in the neighbor’s back yard.

This is so peaceful.

And later on, twelve people + are coming over for what is called a barbecue. It’s my son’s birthday, he’s turning 22.

I wish it was going to stay quiet like this, right now, all day long. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t be doing anything except reading, writing, continuing to clean out the shed (which spontaneously started happening yesterday, my car now packed with items to go to Goodwill).

Having people over means….you have to tidy up, clean, plan, shop, buy, cook, prepare, welcome, greet, talk, share, clean, wash. We say we’re “entertaining” guests. The goal is people are delighted, entertained, enjoying themselves.

[Daughter just entered the room, going to the bathroom and getting a glass of water before returning to bed for a few more hours, we said a few words, I had to stop writing for a minute.]

OK, back to silence….where was I?

Oh yeah, thinking about entertaining people. And being interrupted. And not feeling spontaneous, or free to do whatever I want.

I “have to” do, respond, answer a question, talk, entertain, deal with others, clean, prepare….is it true?

Not really.

I sit here. The world happens around me, full of life. I appear to be full of life as well. Heart beating. Fingers typing. Clock ticking. Thought happening. People moving here and there, into this house, out of this house.

It’s really not that big of a deal.

But what happens with that part of me believing I “have to” do stuff because people are coming over later, or I “have to” do stuff because a group is gathering together to watch Byron Katie live for four days starting Saturday, or I “have to” go buy a cake, or I “have to” enjoy a nice workout before other “have-to’s” kick in.

Ugh. How I react is I want to escape. I start thinking things like “by tomorrow, it will all be over”. Or “thank God this is a small gathering” or “do we have everything?” and running through the check list repeatedly.

When I believe I “have to” (see list) I feel trapped. So much to DO. I feel a sense of urgency. Quick Quick Quick!

With this belief, I begin to dream of quitting everything, and sitting in a cave somewhere, and no longer having email.

Strangely, and you may think this is kinda weird, but I even begin to think of the sweet mysterious unencumbered wild unknown of death, of moving on out of this body into another world, where no “have to’s” exist.

I love how far the mind goes with things. It has the idea that the only way to uninterrupted, unencumbered silence and liberation, is to no longer be alive in this world having to DEAL with what’s here.

LOL.

So who would I be without the story that I have to do anything? That in nine hours people will be coming to celebrate? That “I” have to do stuff? That in five days I must be entirely prepared for the group arriving to watch Katie together (there’s another list for THAT event)?

Wow.

Suddenly, imagining what it would be like without a future. None.

Watching a spider scurry across the wooden floor. Noticing the peace of this moment. Closing my eyes for a long pause between writing these words, drinking in wind chimes gently singing from the front porch, and silence.

[Door opens, husband comes out of room in bathrobe stretching and yawning, sits next to me for a moment on the couch. Without the thought I am being interrupted, or this shouldn’t be happening, I’m relaxed, I’m open].

Without any thoughts of the future or any “have to”, nine hours from now or five days from now, I notice the outdoors beckoning, and the joy of this inquiry, and the curiosity of opening to whatever will happen.

Something lets go, feels spacious.

We start again. This moment. At zero. No expectations, no knowing what will happen next.

“You have given your mind an impossible task by asking it to manipulate the world in order to fix your personal inner problems. If you want to achieve a healthy state of being, stop asking your mind to do this. Just relieve your mind of the job of making sure that everyone and everything will be the way you need them to be so that you can feel better inside. Your mind is not qualified for that job. Fire it, and let go of your inner problems instead. You can have a different relationship with your mind. Whenever it starts up telling you what you should or shouldn’t do in order to get the world to match your preconceived concepts, don’t listen.” ~ Michael Singer

Without the belief in “I have to do stuff, to be ready for…” I feel a looseness opening, something un-gripping itself. Even laughter.

Absolutely nothing required for an event to be a “good” one. Noticing nothing is happening right now, in this moment.

What are you “doing” today?

I hope you find some relaxing sweetness inside, while you “do” it, before you “do” it, after you “do” it.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. there is still space if you’d like to come watch Byron Katie with others. You don’t have to come to all 4 days–you can log in on your own (no extra charge) for at least 2 or 3 days on your own until August 31st and watch segments you want to repeat. This log-in time is included in the $165 for sharing this event. To join us, sign up here.

July 1, 2016

Ten reasons why Summer Camp (INQUIRY) is so healthy for kid (ADULTS)

summercamptogether My fingers have been wildly tapping the keyboard of my computer as questions come in for these upcoming events taking place very soon.

I love your questions! And they actually help me be clearer.

So even if you’re kinda tired of hearing about Summer Camp which starts in three days….I’m answering some important Q’s as I’ve gotten so many. And I’m sharing how Camp and Inquiry offer such wonderful freedom. (You ultimately make your own camp, anywhere, any time).

Summer Camp for The Mind is a completely virtual 7 week “camp” session with one 90 minute call offered every single weekday for people to do The Work of Byron Katie and inquire into their stressful beliefs. You don’t have to come to every call. You choose which calls you attend. Meaning, literally….you can attend two calls during the entire summer 7-week session, or all 32 of them.

What’s good about dialing in and doing The Work….like….why would anybody want to?

Well, if you’re super shy like me (very introverted) or you find it difficult to stop you’re daily life responsibilities to travel to learn and do The Work in a retreat space or a class, or you normally can’t afford the smaller in-depth group classes or events….

….OR, even more importantly, you simply do not question your thinking when you’re on your own and busy….

….then this may be just the ticket.

The Work is like meditation. It’s a practice to return to over and over again. You don’t meditate for an hour and say “WOW! BINGO! I am now completely peaceful with silence and life for All Time!”

Meditation is like an energy. We’re tapping into the wisdom of being.

With The Work, we’re answering the same four questions, but finding over and over again new layers of insight, new glimmers of freedom. We wake up, sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly, out of the huge variety of stories we have from all our life experiences.

Sharing together via teleconference also has a powerful affect and benefit for us, even if we listen only It’s remarkable what listening to someone else is like, learning we’re not alone. We don’t say a word, and yet we’re riveted by someone else’s personal work….because it’s just like ours. The circumstance doesn’t really matter. We show each other the way.

I find, joining together in this remarkable way invented by the technology we live with in our times….it’s like we’re a think-tank of brilliant people, pooling our minds together to create One Mind in awareness. And this awareness brings so much peace, clarity and joy. It’s strangely simple, and strangely profound. No “teacher” is required for The Work. You are your own teacher. All you really need is a willingness to be open, to write, to contemplate without expectations.

Meditation is like that. We don’t know what will happen in a meditation session, but our great intention is to make friends with silence. With The Work, we get to make friends with our chattering and nervous minds, and even make peace with events from the past.

The first Opening Day session on July 5th is free for everyone (find the link on the Summer Camp page and come on board with us). July 5th is open to everyone. Even if you’re not registering for Summer Camp! The July 5th session is extra long, but if you miss it, you can still come to Summer Camp for any sessions you like as long as you’re a registered member. So for example, if you don’t dial in until August 1st, you still can join us for all the calls after August 1st.

Because this is so open, and because you pick what works for your schedule, you also choose what to pay. The suggested fee is $150-$500 depending on how many calls you think you’ll attend and what you’re able to give.

A ninety minute call you can think of as being worth $30 – $50 in dollars, but you also get to choose what feels right to you, and what you can afford. If you have zero income, and you’re wanting support and assistance in daily inquiry (on money and jobs and unemployment, for example) then You Are Welcome. Pay an amount you CAN afford, and you’re in. No questions asked.

This is open season sliding scale for everyone in service to self-inquiry and The Work of Byron Katie, and freeing your mind from stressful thinking in your life.

Note: The only days we don’t meet are Monday July 11 and Tuesday July 12 because many of us–including me–will be attending the Being With Byron Katie Seattle 4 day retreat where we participate through live streaming with Katie all the way from Europe while we’re watching together at a quiet, gorgeous lodge. This event is only $165, a fraction of the normal live events with Byron Katie. An incredible opportunity to be with her almost-live, and sharing the silence with others. This retreat is almost full to capacity.

How do these Summer Camp for the Mind telesessions actually work?

You’ll use your phone, or your computer, to connect at the scheduled hour. There are local alternative phone numbers for those who are long-distance. If you want to use your computer to connect for free, you’ll receive a new link, daily, via email, for each call about 20 minutes before we meet for our Summer Camp session.

Everyone has the option during Summer Camp to listen-only, or to share live and raise your hand to do The Work. None of the calls will be recorded (the way I usually do in other classes). This assures peoples’ privacy and encouragement to give it a try.

When you sign up, you’ll learn the three options for joining: phone,webcall (you can speak and we’ll hear you just like you’re on the phone) or webcast (listen-only).

If you’d like to join the July 5th Opening Day call first, before signing up for Summer Camp all the way….no problem. After the Opening Day session, just go visit the Summer Camp page on my website and register for the rest of the summer when you’re ready (you pick the amount manually entering what you want to pay). I’ll send you all the information on how to join calls after I receive your registration.

Finally, you may wonder after all this what the schedule is, so you can see what works for you if you’re in Europe or Australia or Costa Rica or South Africa. Here are the times for all the calls, every weekday. Again, if you come only Mondays, for example, you are entirely welcome. There will be 5 Monday calls total (since we miss 7/11) so you might only want to donate $150. If you’re coming Tuesday, Weds, Thursday every single week, you’ll have 21 calls of immersion into The Work so you may choose to donate more. Let it match what feels right.

Here’s the full schedule:

Mondays 2-3:30 pm PDT/5-6:30 pm Eastern/10-11:30 pm London
Tuesdays 5-6:30 pm PT/8-9:30 pm Eastern/8:00 am Australia
Wednesdays noon-1:30 pm/3-4:30 pm Eastern/9 pm Europe
Thursdays 9-10:30 am/noon-1:30 pm/5-6:30 pm London
Fridays 10-11:30 am/1-2:30 pm Eastern/6-7:30 pm London

These telesessions meet from July 5th through August 19th (but not on July 11 or 12).

The other day, I read a healthy childhood psychology article about why Summer Camp can be so fabulous for kids (I had an awesome time in summer camp when I was young).

The very same reasons are true for The Mind.

Here’s my special version of why inquiry, and doing Camp together, is so good for us ADULTS….for our thinking.

Substitute the word “camp” with “The Work” for this entire list and enjoy the fun reading.

It may be healthy for kids to enjoy childhood at camp….but for me, it’s even more healthy as an adult to enjoy adulthood in inquiry!!

10. Spend time in quality action: As children (ADULTS) spend so much time these days inside (THEIR HEADS), camp provides a wonderful opportunity to move (MENTALLY, TO A NEW PERSPECTIVE, and PHYSICALLY TO FEEL IN THE BODY).CAMP IS ACTION!

9. Experience success and become more confident – Camp helps children (ADULTS) build self-confidence and self-esteem by removing the kind of (MENTAL) competition that shapes their lives. With its non-competitive (INQUIRY), camp (TELE-SESSIONS) are a real boost for young people (ADULTS). CAMP SHOWS YOU THAT YOU CAN!

8. Gain resiliency – The kind of encouragement and nurture kids (ADULTS) receive at camp makes it a great environment to endure setbacks, try new (and thereby maybe a little frightening) things, and see that improvement comes when you give something another try (BY INQUIRING). CAMP HELPS DISSOLVE FEARS!

7. Unplug – When kids (ADULTS) take a break from distractions (FROM THEIR STRESSFUL THINKING) they rediscover their creative powers and engage the real world–real people, real activities, and real emotions. CAMP IS REAL!

6. Develop life-long skills – Camps provide the right environment and guidance for kids (ADULTS) to enhance their abilities, their artistic talents, and their adventure skills. The sheer variety of (INQUIRY) offered at camp makes it easy for kids (ADULTS) to discover and develop what they like to do. CAMP EXPANDS YOUR ABILITIES!

5. Grow more independent – Camp is the perfect place to practice making decisions without parents and teachers guiding every move (ESPECIALLY THE PARENTS AND TEACHERS IN YOUR HEAD FROM THE PAST). Everyone welcomes this as a freedom to blossom in new directions. CAMP HELPS YOU DEVELOP WHO YOU ARE.

4. Have free time for unstructured play (INQUIRY) – Free from the overly-structured, overly-scheduled routines of home and school (WORK), camp gives children (ADULTS) free time to just play (INQUIRE). Camp is a slice of carefree play (INQUIRY) where you can relax, laugh, and be silly. AT CAMP WE PLAY!

3. Learn social skills – Coming to camp means joining a close-knit community where everyone respects each other. When they live in a cabin (WHEN WE DO THE WORK) with others, we share answers, resolve disagreements, and see firsthand the importance of sincere communication. CAMP BUILDS TEAMWORK!

2. Reconnect with nature (YOUR TRUE NATURE) – Camp is a wonderful antidote to “true-nature deficit disorder,” and to the narrow experience of modern (MENTAL) life. Outdoor experience (GETTING OUT OF YOUR STRESSFUL STORIES) enriches perception of the world and supports healthy development. CAMP GETS YOU BACK OUTSIDE (YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS).

1. Make true friends – Camp is the place for making best friends (WITH YOURSELF). Free from social expectations, camp encourages kids (ADULTS) to relax and make friends easily. All the fun (INQUIRY) at camp draws everyone together. Everyday, CAMP CREATES FRIENDSHIP.

YES. I love Summer Camp for The Mind. I love inquiring into the painful stories that cause suffering, using the powerful method called The Work. Join me.

Much love,

Grace