I am amazed by Summer Camp For The Mind inquiries.
People are bringing such sweet, incredible, deeply thoughtful, moving and definitely stressful beliefs to this circle.
Maybe its the opportunity to do inquiry every single day, maybe its the people involved….
….probably both.
Yesterday, a profoundly stressful thought came up for inquiry.
I’m not doing the right kind of work in my life.
Over there…..those other people?
They’re doing more meaningful things. They’re helping the poor. They’re working in hospice. They’re living off the land. They’re getting out of the rat race. They’re volunteering. They’re giving inspirational speeches. They’re spreading good news.
They’re earning a good living….or, they don’t care about earning a living.
They’re more creative, or helpful. They’re great teachers. They’re changing lives. They’re meditating! They’re facilitators of The Work!
Ouch.
Hold your horses.
Let’s do The Work.
The lovely inquirer who brought this thought about her work to inquiry is a literature teacher.
Inside I thought…..really?
What would we do without all the incredible stories of the world and all the authors of all kinds of literature, throughout history? All the juicy writing that inspires, distracts, moves people to the depths of their being?
Yet, I’ve had these kinds of thoughts all my life about jobs I was in, work I was doing, even subjects I was studying.
It’s not “it”. This isn’t quite right. I should be doing something else.
Something else better and more……more…..different.
I once worked as a janitor at night. I cleaned an industrial kitchen all by myself, a big cavernous dark place. When I came in, I clicked the lights on with a big thunk.
I swept underneath the huge metal chopping and assembling tables. The same pieces of carrots, bread crusts, fruit peelings, and flour off the floor every Saturday night.
Once it was swept clean, I got out this big floor sprayer machine and put in all the soap and washing liquid and scoured the floor, back and forth, back and forth spraying everything spotless. Then, I rinsed the floor with the same machine, back and forth, back and forth.
I got paid exceptionally well. It was a hard-labor job and gave me fantastic money during college. I never talked with anyone, I was free to come and go within a window those Saturday nights. I got to take college courses other days of the week. I got to listen to music. I was never afraid, angry or in any arguments…no one else was there. It was simple.
What a fantastic job!
Who would I be without the belief the job was a waste of time, or not good enough, or meaningless, or not “it”?
What if whatever you’re doing IS it?
It doesn’t mean you don’t change what you’re doing tomorrow, or take one tiny baby step towards moving on, right now.
“Only be earnest and honest. The shape it takes hardly matters….It is the true motive that matters, not the manner….Meet your own self. Be with your own self, listen to it, obey it, cherish it, keep it in mind ceaselessly. You need no other guide.” ~ Nisargadatta
The brilliant and infinite way work and jobs and activities appear is astonishing and stunning.
What if every single thing is perfect, as it is. Nothing better, nothing worse.
I notice I don’t clean industrial kitchens any more, but that was the most perfect job of silence and movement anyone could have asked for.
What if you do not need to “do” anything more. What if it is being handled by reality itself?
What if this is it? And then, five minutes later, also it?
Who would I be without my ideas that something else is better than this?
Can I find turnarounds, and good reasons for this job that I apparently, do?
I am doing the right kind of work in my life.
I am not doing the right kind of play in my life.
Work is rightly doing me, in life.
Work is doing itself.
Life is doing itself, through me.
I am….and all that follows hardly matters.
You need no other shape.
You need no other guide.
And if you want to question your stressful thoughts, as a practice, whatever shape or form they take, then Year of Inquiry (YOI) starts in September.
Click HERE to read about it. (You can fill out the information form if you want to join). Please feel free to reply to this email if you’d like to talk by phone, try a free Summer Camp session, or have any special questions. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Much love, Grace