Feeling Bad And Don’t Know Why? Here’s What To Do

Fairly regularly, people come to me to do The Work and say “I feel awful, I can’t sleep, I want to eat all the time, I want to drink beer, but I don’t know WHAT I’m really upset about!?!”

This is soooooo common.

You aren’t weird if you’ve noticed this in your life.

Some of the other things people will say are “I am depressed” or “I am anxious all the time” or the most fabulous give-up smack to the world….”what’s the use?”

How do I do The Work on this feeling? I can’t find a concept! Write something down?

There’s nothing to write down….or too much to write down!

Maybe you are considering humanity….and the suffering, the wars, the hunger, destruction, global warning, relationships gone astray, the hurt, the grief.

It’s so big. So hard. So terrible. Blech. I’ll just go to bed.

When it comes to doing The Work, one of the first places to begin when you just feel bad is to locate a specific objection you have about life, and oddly enough, narrow it down in a strangely specific way.

I always have people start there, just like Byron Katie herself recommends.

“But I don’t have a specific situation….I have a whole bunch of uncomfortable or horrible situations….life is just one big fat disappointment, I’m a mess, being here is no good!”

OK, no problemo.

Here’s the good news. Pick ONE.

That’s all that is necessary.

Because narrowing it down to one situation at a time is the BEST THING I EVER DID in my inquiry.

Seriously.

And I was someone who had what I thought were HUNDREDS of objectionable situations.

I used to make very global statements about the difficulties of life. I used to be sarcastic and rather dark…my humor still leans in that direction, but now it’s actually FUNNY.

“Life sucks and then you die”.

I notice…I really don’t say those kinds of things hardly ever anymore. Or, I don’t believe it when I do.

Wow.

Have no fear. If you say big generalized statements about the world, life, you, humans….and it’s dark and bitter….all you have to do is begin with one situation you ACTUALLY went through.

One really lazer, painful, ouchy incident where you got hurt.

That’s the moment.

You put it on “pause” and hold that vision in your mind of that specific situation.

Ow, ow, ow.

Even if you don’t want to remember it, or deal with it, or you feel there’s absolutely nothing you could ever do about it, ever, ever, ever.

Inquiry is investigation into reality, into the truth.

And the assumption below it all is that experiencing pain and suffering in this moment now, through remembering the past or dreading the future, means you don’t have all the lights on. You’re missing something, you’ve thought something to be true that’s probably not really true for you.

But you have to look and see for yourself.

Today….if you have a big black cloud come over you, if you experience deep despair, irritation, depression, rage, frustration, terror, fear or anxiety….

….first simply stop.

Now consider the moment where you got triggered. Maybe an image sped through your mind and it reminded you of something else. Maybe three different people had funny faces, and all added up together you were disturbed because your mind took off on a tangent of despair.

Go backwards in time to the first moment you got triggered.

The scene of the crime.

The day you lost your innocence. The moment you failed, the day you found out that news, the conversation in which it became clear you were betrayed, criticized, unloved, wrong, destroyed.

Don’t worry if you don’t have the “best” worst situation.

The one that comes to mind, is the one ready for inquiry.

Every time I thought I just “felt bad” and didn’t have a thought to question…within five minutes of writing I had a specific situation, a difficult painful relationship to investigate.

“It is only by beginning to examine and realize the falseness within our minds that we begin to awaken an intelligence that originates from beyond the realm of thinking.” ~ Adyashanti

“An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering.” ~ Byron Katie

I love knowing all that is necessary is to question.

The suffering I am experiencing is happening through not asking questions, through making statements like “LIFE SUCKS!”

Like I know, right?

Let yourself see the thing that’s bothering you, in that moment of angst, urgency, fear, sleeplessness.

Don’t start wondering if you have the right situation, or the best situation….just begin. Write that Judge Your Neighbor worksheet.

You can do it!