Yesterday the current One Year group resumed our telecalls (we always meet three times per month).
We are in our third month together, and we change topics each month, for the whole year.
(By the way, this is so successful that a second one-year group will begin Thursday, Sept 13, 5:15 pm Pacific). Click here to read about it.
This month, we’re looking at Those People who…..ARGG….
….the ones who bug us, who are dangerous, who should change, often lumped in as a group to a “type” of person.
In the past I’ve noticed my mind judging whole cultures, countries, caricatures, neighborhoods.
Those Americans, those drunks, those starlets, those Nazis, those construction workers, those corporations, those rich people, those narcissists, those prejudiced people, those New Age Non-Dualists (tee hee, had to throw that one in)…
…you get the idea.
Then, as you consider that collection of human “types” and the energy around any one of them, situations come to mind where you personally were involved with someone from that group and you felt uncomfortable, or you heard about it.
I never met Anne Frank or any Nazi, for example, but the image of those terrible soldiers was in my mind vividly when I read Anne’s famous and incredible autobiography when I was 14.
From this vision, I answer all the questions on the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet. I think about the most stressful moment, the most annoying, difficult, bothersome piece, and write my judgments about that one situation.
Today it was so moving to hear of peoples’ anger, rage, fury, irritation, sadness or jealousy about Those Other People.
Teenagers with boom boxes, parents who don’t control their children, complainers, avoiders, arrogant people, even beautiful parents with easy lives, intolerant people, or just bad music.
We all laughed together as we exposed our judgments, fears, and our strong belief that “I need that person/people to STOP”.
Can I really know that my life would be better, easier, happier if that person quit doing what they did?
Am I sure that the noise should stop, the words, the behavior, the sound, the questions, the complaints….is it true that it needs to stop for me to be comfortable, content, or peaceful?
I notice when I believe that someone needs to be shut down, or I need to get something from someone, or even, I need to be more like those people….
….I don’t feel peaceful. I feel conflicted, confused, upset.
I might even feel like I HATE them.
Who would I be without the thought that I need them to stop it?
As we all sat with this question in group inquiry, feeling the sensations in the body without the thought that they should stop, looking at those people doing what they are doing, hearing the sound that was so objectionable….
…many people noticed the body becoming open, warm, full of energy, even full of acceptance, love, compassion for those people.
Turning the thought around we all burst into laughter as we found “I need those people to keep doing what they do, I don’t need them to stop, I need me to stop; I need me to stop ruminating, concentrating, focusing and being so at war with them, or even with ME.”
What if I actually moved towards those people, rather than away from them?
What if I turned and faced them, rather than resisted them?
“Let go an open to your world. Realize that trying to protect your territory, trying to keep your territory enclosed and safe, is fraught with misery and suffering. It keeps you in a very small, dank, smelly, introverted world that gets more and more claustrophobic and more and more misery-producing as you get older.” ~ Pema Chodron
Living the turnaround for me doesn’t mean I have to move in with the Nazis, or enter arenas where I know not to go….
….but I might find something beautiful as I allow them to be as they are.
I might find gratitude for what is present, now.
“No one has to question their thoughts. It can be very difficult to get that still. But it’s even more difficult NOT to get that still, and answer these questions. It is the way out of hell. We’re not used to that. It can be very uncomfortable, just the idea of being happy.” ~ Byron Katie
The next One Year Group starts on Thursdays, Sept 13, 5:15-6:45 pm. You can choose to enroll in the telecalls only, or add 4 solo sessions and/or the two in-person weekend retreats in Seattle (these will be so much fun, and powerful). We meet until August 2014.
I Like This Restaurant “Doing the work over the years without training or knowing anybody actually doing the work, (I found people willing to talk about the work but none willing to put it on paper), I craved association with others actually doing the work. In taking this class and associating with you all is even more satisfying than I had anticipated. I so enjoy spending time with anybody willing to question their thoughts, willing to face the discomfort that comes with believing that thought and then move into joy. Very real, I like this restaurant and want to come back again & again.” S, Year Of Inquiry GroupCome enjoy the intimate, caring experience of making a year of appointments with Self-Inquiry….a small group (limited to 14) to hear you and support your work, and the power of noticing what is Real and what is not.
Love, Grace