Many people have written to me with questions about the One Year Program starting in June. One of the most important logistical questions has been “can I make payments, instead of pay all at once?” I just got that figured out, and it’s at the bottom of the webpage all about the program if you click HERE. If you’re eager and you know this is right for you, I’ll make every effort to make it work.
Finances and money and business and earning can bring a whole WORLD of stressful thoughts. Signing up for things that cost something, paying for services, providing services!
Oh man! It’s rough!
I used to think “YIKES! I hate asking for money!! I would do this for free (with my work)!”
Now I certainly don’t hate it, but it’s not always exactly easy-peasy. Isn’t that strange? So many underlying and rather oppositional beliefs about asking, waiting, charging, stating what you want or need.
- it’s not classy to ask for money, even if you need it
- people think you’re a loser, or selfish, or greedy, if you want money
- people think you did something stupid or wrong in your past if you need money now
- asking is too vulnerable, people might criticize you
- people think you’re untrustworthy or disorganized or dumb if you can’t pay your bills
- getting into debt is for people with very bad planning–they should have known better
- spending money on things you don’t need is wasteful
- it’s more altruistic to give without asking
- you better give something of big fat value if someone gives you money
- if you do something “luxurious” people can get jealous
- rich people are having more fun than poor people
Just remember, stressful thoughts are NOT LOGICAL. But they still can sit there in the back of the shadows and run your behavior in surprising ways.
About five years ago I was in a workshop about my relationship with money. After several days of writing, looking, examining beliefs about money (like the ones above) we had an exercise assigned to us:
Go out into the street and do what it takes, by asking, to receive six dollars, and then give away six dollars. No explaining to people that this is an exercise. Just “get” six dollars from total strangers.
I just about threw up on the spot. I was NOT going to do that very unpleasant totally tacky exercise. I already felt low about money…this would make it worse.
What would people think?
But I knew that I was experiencing something strong for a very important reason: VERY STRESSFUL THOUGHTS ABOUT ASKING FOR MONEY (see above list).
You know what I was like because of those thoughts about money? Shut down, quiet, secluded, undemanding, not very generous, careful, worried, passive, anxious, never standing up for myself, low passion about work, low-income jobs, not very creative, powerless, hidden, soft-spoken, nervous, bad feelings about myself, and thinking I had little to offer.
I was like a twisted knot of stress. I just wanted money to go away. I wanted to never encounter it or need it at all. In fact, I treated money like a nasty, crazy uncle who needed to stay in the basement.
One of the most powerful life-changing exercises for me has been to question this kind of thinking about money, and my relationship to it.
What if it’s my friend? What if it comes to me like breathing in and out? What if it is beautiful and exciting to ask for it, like asking someone you find very attractive to have tea, or dinner?
Those are the kinds of ideas that began to occur to me when I considered who I would be without the thought that wanting money is bad.
How would you live your life if you turned these thoughts around? What are examples of them being true for you in your life?
- it is very classy, wonderful and eye-opening to ask for money when you need it
- people think you’re a winner, self-less, generous, if you want money
- needing money in the present moment has no meaning about the past or something going wrong…things are adjusting perfectly, you are creative, and you are safe
- asking is neutral, or a sign of strength, and people might accept you even more
- people think you’re trustworthy, organized, or smart if you see truthfully that you can’t pay your bills and you’re authentic and realistic about it
- getting into debt is for people with very good planning, and you can plan your way back out
- spending money on things you don’t “need” is joyful, celebratory, fun
- it’s more altruistic to ask, you are caring for your life
- you better give something of big fat value FOR YOU if someone gives you money
- if you do something “luxurious” people can get inspired
- you can have fun no matter how much money you have…even with nothing
What if you lived this kind of relationship with money for the rest of today?
Freedom, joy, happiness, dancing, resting, relaxing, connecting all can happen, even with an empty wallet. Even with a full wallet and a business to run and help to offer other people who are looking for your services.
Nowadays, money lives up here in my house, not in the basement. Money is a delightful, fun, friendly relationship.
It is fun living the turnaround that money is wonderful to ask for. I see how wonderful it was to ask for it when I almost lost my house and had no money left…and then I gained so much confidence watching myself pay back my debts.
If you need time to achieve something, it must be false. The real is always with you; you need not wait to be what you are. Only you must not allow your mind to go out of yourself in search.”~Nisargadatta
“Many of us are motivated by a desire for success. But what is success? What do we want to achieve? We do only three things in life: We stand, we sit, we lie horizontal. Once we’ve found success, we’ll still be sitting somewhere, until we stand, and we’ll stand until we lie down or sit again. Success is a concept, an illusion. Do you want the $3900 chair instead of the $39 one? Well, sitting is sitting. Without a story, we’re successful wherever we are.”—Byron Katie in Loving What Is
Love, Grace