Long ago, I had the incredible experience of working on a ship. I was 24 and that job lasted for a little less than a year. My position? Ordinary Seaman.
I am still fascinated with the lingo and history of life at sea, and I know I was only an onlooker. Peeking in to a culture and world that would never really be mine.
A 24 year old woman being an Ordinary Seaman? I think the people of the 13th century would have been stunned. It’s still a little weird.
For some odd reason, and there perhaps is no reason, I am a shellback, because of that experience.
A what?
A Trusty Shellback is someone who has crossed the equator. This is no small feat. This does not mean, the vessel “crossed” the equator line, and therefore you are automatically a shellback.
Since ancient shipping times, on board the vessels crossing the equator, there are very strange and wild ceremonies put forth to initiate the dirty, scummy wogs (those seamen who have never crossed the equator) into the other side of the line.
All work stops, there are elaborate rituals and rites performed. Captains and ship officers become someone other than they usually are.
Yeah, that was crazy. I have my certificate signed by King Neptune to prove I went through it.
In every culture, group, and family there are “lines” that get laid down, and with some of those lines, it’s a Big Honkin’ Deal if you cross them.
Sometimes it’s very “positive”….like graduations, weddings, changing careers.
Sometimes it’s very “negative”….like taking something from someone, hurting someone, giving something away, ending a marriage, voting for BLEEP, taking the pill.
The Work of Byron Katie, as so many of you already know, allows us to enter the realm of the questioning mind where it doesn’t matter where you are from, what you have done, which gender you are, what historical age you live in, or whether or not you’ve done the “right” thing or the “wrong” thing.
You are simply looking at who you would be, without your story. Without your fear, trepidation, sadness, anger, or anxiety.
For some reason, there I was on that ship, because of very odd circumstances lining up in the universe, like the federal government creating a Equal Opportunity law, and a good friend of mine calling me to say “they need an OS on this ship, get over here and you’ve got the job” and me dropping out of college and knowing I needed a huge change.
Not everyone liked that I was on that ship. Some of the others employed there could hardly stand it.
- young women shouldn’t be on ships
- this is dangerous
- we can’t change the way we’ve always done it
- she’s not strong enough, tough enough, smart enough
- if she can do it, that means my job is diminished, disrespected
- she doesn’t belong here, she’s not our kind
If I had believed their thoughts, I would have been so freaked out I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes.
Was I thinking that they were having those thoughts, or did I assume that these were their thoughts because of a few stressful moments when someone said something or acted uncomfortable, or acted mean?
Mostly…..everyone was incredible. They were kind, attentive, protective. They showed me the ropes. Literally. One guy showed me how to tie four vital knots that we needed to use from time to time.
Another showed me how to use the nail gun. I got the special job that no one else wanted of re-painting the huge faded black letters of the ship’s name on the stern.
There were hours spent in silence on watch…hours of it in pitch dark under the night sky.
There was lots of time painting and re-painting the ship gray.
Today, I remembered a moment during that amazing time, and I thought about how sometimes, you go across a “line” without planning, without controlling anything about it.
There I was in a most unusual weird strange place out at sea, with a very unusual job for a 24 year old that could only have happened in very unusual perfect circumstances….and it turns out, a line was crossed.
Several lines were crossed. For many of the men on that ship, for the Chief Botswain, for the other OS. Lines were being crossed left and right, all over the place.
And I was there to cross it, because I was. I was PART of the line-crossing. I had my role in the story. Apparently, the one who could play that part, at that time.
It wasn’t up to me. If I had known what I was getting into, as I said, I might have been afraid and not gone.
“Start a huge, foolish project like Noah. It makes absolutely no difference what people think of you.”~Rumi
Getting on that ship was a huge, foolish project. But a thing inside said “go”. And because of that, I got to cross several deep lines that I had no idea would be crossed.
Perhaps this is all we can do…follow the “yes”….and along the way, you will come to some edges. Sometimes they are sharp.
Pema Chodron wrote of how her teacher Chogyam Tungpa, Rinpoche, told her this:
“A big wave comes along and knocks you down. You find yourself lying on the bottom of the oceans with your face in the sand, and even though all the sand is going up your nose and into your mouth and your eyes and ears, you stand up and you begin walking again. Then the next wave comes and knocks you down. The waves just keep coming, but each time you get knocked down, you stand up and keep walking. After a while, you’ll find that the waves appear to be getting smaller.”
Keep going. Follow the “yes”. It’s worth it….and it’s out of your hands anyway.
Love, Grace