WOW. Today several hundreds of people from all over the world came to gather in a big hotel conference room in Los Angeles, California, to listen to Byron Katie the woman who discovered and practices The Work, a way to question your beliefs that feel painful.
I love how we are all here at the Mental Cleanse, as it’s called, to question our answers.
These are the answers we came up with long ago. These are the answers that landed inside us without even thinking they might not be true….we just thought automatically they were.
Byron Katie suggests that when we have difficult thoughts about someone or something, some event, some entity, ANYTHING, then we are remaining blind to what the truth really is.
We are closing ourselves off, somehow, for some reason. We are centered in fear, in thinking things could be better. We are not relaxed, we have an opinion that it should go another way than it did.
Several incredible people stepped up onto the stage to sit in the empty chair next to Katie. In their hands, they held their worksheets. These are their painful thoughts, written down, on that one person or situation that was deeply disturbing.
To find your painful thoughts, the simple directions are to hold that person or situation in your mind, as clear as you can even if it happened fifty years ago, and write down what you believe you needed, what you wanted, what that person should or should NOT have done, said, or thought.
These are our objections. They come in swarms like flies. They sometimes feel overwhelmingly full of bad yucky feelings….gut-wrenching, deep, horrifying feelings. The kinds many of us want to avoid.
We remember that thing that happened and we say “I don’t ever want to think about it again, I don’t even want anything even remotely close to it to ever, ever happen again.”
Everyone in the room wrote one of these sheets (or maybe two) full of their thoughts about one difficult situation.
They are so brave, so willing, so filled with a desire to stop believing their painful thoughts!
A man spoke of his greatest desire that his own mother would be happy. She seemed to complain constantly. The food is not right, the weather is not right, the amount of time in the car is uncomfortable, the surroundings are not right.
The audience laughed….and it is a laugh of relating to this man, who was wanting his mother to CHANGE.
A woman spoke of her recent cancer, and the terrifying thought that it could be coursing through her whole body, RIGHT NOW!
A mother spoke of her terrible angst with her son who doesn’t pay his bills or his rent on time, so she needs to step in to take care of it.
As we all listened to these brave individuals on stage, or sharing with the microphone to the whole group, honesty is seeping out into the room. We aren’t trying to be spiritual anymore. We’re being REAL.
Rage, despair, fear, sadness is described, with these upsetting people in our lives…brothers, sons, parents, friends…
As I heard other peoples’ thoughts and they brought them into inquiry and began to not take them so seriously, it struck me once again how the people who hurt us are the ones who teach us the most, if we let ourselves be taught.
These people who hurt us? They LOVE us. They are being themselves, full of love, living their lives, and bumping into us in this way that challenges our basic core beliefs.
We have to grow up, or suffer. No other choice.
The suffering begins to stop when conversation happens, when the truth is told, when people move towards and face their most terrible beliefs…the ones they wish they didn’t even think were true.
- This cancer needs to leave me alone
- She should be happy
- He lied to me
- He needs to pay his rent
- She is stupid
- He criticizes me
- I hate her voice
With just one thought written on paper, you have one of your “conclusions” or your “answers” right there in front of you, stopped and caught red-handed.
And then you can start to question your answers. Because, as Katie herself says, the Don’t Know Mind is the most fun and wonderful place to be.
I keep finding out that what she says is accurate.
When I turn around my stressful beliefs, and un-do my thought-system, I get goose bumps. I actually feel excited. I don’t need as much sleep. I am thrilled….for no reason.
Because I didn’t find any set answer. I only found that the person WASN’T critical, and I was just as critical by the way, and there’s no one to blame.
Nothing to do, nothing to get, nothing to say, nothing to be…just UN-believing all these thoughts I repeat and repeat, over and over.
“As long as we think there is something to get (or something we’ve gotten that we need to hold onto, or identify with, or remain ever-mindful of), we will suffer. When it is recognized that there is literally nothing to get and no one to get it, that is freedom.“~Joan Tollifson
So I am here at the Cleanse, listening, being, noticing…knowing there are no answers here, but more and more beautiful, holy, open, unknown, mysterious questions.
Everything is good, everything is good.
My life project is, can I see this?
Best. Project. Ever.
“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.“~Byron Katie
Much love, Grace
NEW! 2013 January Teleclasses! As always, please write if you need financial assistance. Click here to register for any of these classes online. You can also send an email to grace@workwithgrace.com if you’d prefer to mail a check or want to ask questions.
- Earning Money: What’s Your Problem? Questioning Your Beliefs About Money, Work and Business. Mondays, January 14-March 4, 2013, 10:00 am – 11:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
- Our Wonderful Sexuality: Untangling the Passion, Attraction, Love, Past Terrors, Future Worries, Fear, Confusion, Tenderness, and Joyful Intimacy. Tuesdays, January 8 – February 26, 2013, 6:30 – 8:00 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
- Horrible Food Wonderful Food: Healing the Love/Hate Relationship with Eating, Food, and Our Bodies. Thursdays, January 10 – February 28, 2013. 10:00 am – 11:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
- Turning Relationship Hell To Heaven: Working With Painful Hate, Anger, Fury, Despair, Grief, or Disappointment With Someone You Know; Spouse, Mother, Sibling, Father, Daughter, Son, Boss, Neighbor, Friend. Fridays, January 11 – March 1, 2013 8:00 am – 9:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
In Person workshops:
Horrible Food Wonderful Food Weekend In-Person Intensive Seattle January 12-13, 2013 Saturday 10 – 5:30, Sunday 1:30-5:30. $215. To register click HERE now and then send me an email grace@workwithgrace.com.
Mark your calendar for Breitenbush, the end of June 2013! We will be looking at all aspects of what we consider to be flaws in the body, and Un-doing our beliefs about them. Stay tuned if you’d like to join me and Susan Grace Beekman from June 26-30, 2013. You can change your internal beliefs about what you think bodies should be like….and change your entire experience of being in yours.
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