Boy Howdy the thought “I need more time” really kicked in for me last night.
This is one of those very core ideas that repeats itself. The mind is offering this age-old solution to the problem that generalizes over All Of It in one fell swoop.
Gosh…now that I think about it, TIME is the problem. Yeah, that’s it!
If I just had more time….then I would get “a,b, and c” done. It would already actually be done, right?
If I just had more time….then this moment right here would be very relaxed, open. I would have ALL POSSIBILITIES in front of me. This moment would be pregnant with what is about to be birthed!
Everything would be finished, we would be actually ON the diving board, after making our way all the way to the pool, up the ladder, standing up on the diving board, and walking the length of the entire board.
The Pool would be right below, waiting only for us to dive, fall, or jump in with abandon. Nothing more to complete or achieve. Everything would be wrapped up! Finished! I HAD ENOUGH TIME. Now it’s all “done”.
When I have the thought “I need more time” I can feel deeply drained. Sunken down with a weight upon me of lists and to-do items, dreams of accomplishments dashed, not there yet, worried.
Imagine if someone said “you have six months to live”. You might have the thought “I need more time!”
Sometimes I can get THAT serious in only 5 minutes of finding proof that I don’t have enough time and I need more.
It’s obvious! It’s true! Not enough! I need more!
The thing is, it turns out to be the same kind of hopeful, longing, wanting, desperate thought as all the other things, people, situations, results I have ever wanted.
I NEED.
I have an image of how it would be better, if things went according to me, if I told God/The Universe about this circumstance, and I were granted access to that which is outside the laws of the universe.
Just right now….for me only….more please. More time. Turn back the clock. Or leave the clock on the same hour for awhile. Anything! Extra! I need more!
The way it feels in the body when it is stressful is in my throat I feel tight, tense, like a wail is under the surface wanting to rise up. Sad sad sad. Kind of a clawing drama. Or panicked, like I can’t stop hurrying. It’s a race.
But this also tells me AHA! I am believing something that isn’t really true for me!
Stress is the temple bell (or the gong…or the sound of something exploding) going off as a reminder to do The Work.
So what do you need more time for anyway? If you could push the PAUSE button on life and have infinite time. What would it give you?
A clean house! Hmmm….maybe there is something more important than cleanliness for me that I would want (chuckle).
Success, rest, play, fun, pleasure, no care in the world, peace, expressing love, security, happiness (more time= more money= security).
Find your stepping stones. What would you have, if you had that thing you want more of? It may be a person, if it isn’t TIME. It may be money. It may be a relationship, silence, peace, enlightenment.
That thing I want, that experience, that place of being is over there, not here. When I get that thing, I will be over there.
Are you sure?
And are you sure you need this thing (time) in order to have relaxation, security, success, love and peace?
Or a clean house?
What if you have ENOUGH. Right now. Entirely, completely, marvelously, wonderfully, magnificently enough.
This is not about only pretending you DO have enough….for me, this is seeing that it is possible to experience right now that there is enough. By finding specific examples. Real ones that I can acknowledge. Really simple ones, as simple as they need to be.
I have enough time to email my sister, a day LATE (ha) how much I love and appreciate her, since I thought of her on her birthday yesterday.
I have enough time, apparently, to write this article.
I have enough time to have spent 90 minutes with my amazing husband 2 days ago after a surprise hour without a client scheduled, when he just happened to arrive home earlier than usual.
I had enough time to be with my gorgeous 15 year old daughter on an errand last night…..that turned into 3 hours.
The universe is actually showing me what I need time for. It’s already happening.
Maybe you need time for silence, being single, being unemployed, having very little money, reading this Grace Note, healing, having nothing, cancer, pain, someone dying.
It may sound harsh….it may feel scary or very sad, you may feel unhappy. See if you really need more time, or more of that thing you are sure you want that is different than what is happening right now.
See what could be pointing you towards this moment, here, and having enough in it of whatever you are looking for.
In this moment, I have silence, a sweet living room cottage with lots of air to breathe, colors, furniture, sounds of far-away traffic, an eagle chirping, a teleclass group starting in 20 minutes of the most beautiful, lovely people from several countries around the world.
In this moment I have happiness.
“When you’ve become a total success in business and have more money than you could ever spend, what are you going to have? Happiness? Isn’t that why you wanted money? Let’s take a shortcut that can last a lifetime. Answer this question: Who would you be without the story ‘My future depends on making a lot of money?’ Happier. More relaxed. With or without the money. You’d have everything you wanted money for in the first place”~ Byron Katie
Same with Time. Who would I be without the thought that I would be happier, or more successful, if I had more time?
“There is a time for being ahead, a time for being behind; a time for being in motion, a time for being at rest; a time for being vigorous, a time for being exhausted; a time for being safe, a time for being in danger. The Master sees things as they are, without trying to control them. She lets them go their own way, and resides at the center of the circle.”~Tao Te Ching #29
Love, Grace