The process of addiction is something humans have experienced for centuries. We all immediately have a picture in our minds of what addiction looks like…a person doing some wild activity or ingesting something that causes a change in their experience.
We usually have visions of drug addicts or alcoholics lying in the street or sleeping all day. People in bad shape physically.
But addiction can be subtle. VERY subtle. As subtle as a thought.
The mind is busy. It’s running from the moment you open your eyes after sleeping. There is unconsciousness, then consciousness, repeating itself over and over.
The mind loves to think about success, solving problems, keeping safe, and staying comfortable. If there is a perceived threat…it will often kick into high gear, if we haven’t learned that “high gear” mode doesn’t always work that well.
People in a cycle of some addictive process where they use a strong substance like alcohol, or engage in some intense behavior (like crazy spending and shopping) tend to hate feeling strong, uncomfortable or painful emotions.
The thing is, most of us don’t like feeling uncomfortable emotions. But it’s trickier to identify if our attempt to get away from them becomes quiet, more subtle, softer.
Adyashanti, a wonderful spiritual teacher who I mention fairly often, talks about all of us being addicts. Addicted to thinking about ourselves. To moving AWAY from what is happening inside us, away from discomfort.
Excitement is a strong, powerful surge inside humans that usually is thought of as good. It definitely can take you away from other, more unpleasant feelings. When someone is trapped in the addiction cycle, there is sadness or pain, then the thought of the THING that might help you feel better…..oh goody!
The thing that might help you feel better could be planning obsessively for the future, dreaming of your big trip or your new house. The thing that might help you feel better is exercising, maybe even for 2 – 3 hours. The thing that might help you feel better is talking with the person you have a crush on, watching pornography, surprising someone with a gift, donating to a worthy cause (Dr. Frederick Wolverton, a wonderful addiction specialist and therapist, calls this the Oprah Syndrome).
These subtle forms of reaching towards feeling better and moving away from what is present DO have fewer consequences than blatant escapist addiction activities. Thank goodness we don’t wake up in a strange hotel room wondering how we got there.
But the mind in all those situations is committed to NOT staying with what is true. It likes to escape from it. Until you let it have its voice.
Right in that experience when we feel “bad” if we can identify what we are believing and thinking, then we will not have to work to get back to happiness or balance. We take a deep breath and stay, right here. We do not frantically, or even softly, jump into the urge to get away from this troubling place that is HERE and NOW.
This, right here, is not good enough. I am not good enough. Here and Now is not happy, not peaceful. This needs to change!
“Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don’t realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being……All cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfillment in external things and in the future as a substitute for the joy of Being.”~Eckhart Tolle
Addicted to the noise of thinking. Addicted to seeking salvation from this present moment, in the next thing we do (in the future).
Good news. It’s possible to stop. In fact, there is a part of us all that is silent. Not noisy at all.
You can investigate this moment and what your mind is thinking. There is something beyond the busy mind that observes, that is calm and sane.
“Now is not quite good enough”—is it true? Absolutely for all time, 100% true without a doubt?
Who would you be without this thought? If you waited for a second, just to make sure this moment doesn’t have some kind of joy present within it?
What would it be like to experience the opposite of that uncomfortable thought?
NOW IS COMPLETELY AND ENTIRELY GOOD ENOUGH. AND SO AM I.
Love, Grace