His suffering about money leads to freedom…..mine

He shouldn’t be so focused on money.

Have you ever had this thought?

You’re watching, listening, noticing that other person over there and hearing them care oh so much about spending, income, salary, investing, wills, counting, saving, having.

Wow. He brings the conversation back to money, no matter where we start out or whatever the topic.

He’s so suspicious, bitter, frightened. Kind of scrooge-like. Unable to let go of imagining money issues, or people taking his money, or the need for greater and greater quantities of money.

He’s worked independently to amass a fortune. Yet, he still dickers with others to get a bargain, negotiate a good deal.

I feel a strange repulsion and fascination.

I notice the conviction that he shouldn’t care so much about making more money, having a windfall, winning the lottery, buying nice stuff. He’s got so much, he doesn’t even have to work for a living, and yet he’s working. Very hard.

Is it true he shouldn’t be so focused, or care so much, about money?

Yes. It’s ridiculous. Who wants to live like that? I don’t see him as free, or happy, at all.

But can you absolutely know it’s true he shouldn’t care so much, when he does?

Well, he appears to be a very unhappy, obsessive, uncomfortable person when it comes to money. I can’t absolutely know it’s true he shouldn’t care about it, though. I’ve witnessed this same energy in others. The reality, it appears, is people sometimes care a whole lot about money. In a really nervous, freaked-out, upset kind of way. They go to war over it. Families get broken over it. People leave each other because of it.

So I can’t say it’s absolutely true he shouldn’t be like that. He is.

How do I react when I see him over there acting so nervous, and saying outrageous things about people trying to scam him?

I feel scared. I wonder if he’s right. Maybe I should care more! I remember when I almost lost my house, and had $10.16 left in the bank, and how I could barely stand the tension of wondering what was going to happen next.

When I believe he shouldn’t care so much about money, I feel some doubt. I imagine that if I had been more like him, I might never have gotten into a position of losing so much or having almost no money.

It’s a no-win perspective, when I believe this thought about him. I have no winning view of him, I have no winning view of myself, I have no winning view of money.

Who would I be without this thought he shouldn’t care so much about money?

I’d simply be a person listening to my friend rant and rave about money, and people and money, and anxiety and money, and families and money, and marriage and money. I’d be present with him. I’d remain centered. I wouldn’t feel thrown off-balance about money, or my own approach to money which feels like an ever-evolving, expanding experience.

Without this thought about him and what he shouldn’t care about….

….I’d be back with myself, in my own business, noticing much more than moods about money in the room.

I’d be breathing, hearing, seeing, not pushing anything, including concepts, away or out. I may even be honoring the awareness of what happens when people focus on something they believe they need in order to be safe, or happy, and how hard this can be. It reminds me to relax with what is.

Turning the thought around: I shouldn’t care so much about money. Especially in the moment other people (like my friend) talk about it or bring it into the conversation. I shouldn’t care so much about them caring about it. I shouldn’t care so much about my own past regret, when it comes to money, when there’s nothing I can do about any of that. The past is over, after all.

I shouldn’t care so much about money and the future, like needing to leave my little cottage to my kids debt-free. Or having visions of working forever into my old age because I started so late in earning much of anything.

Turning the thought around again: he SHOULD care so much about money. First of all, he does. He doesn’t feel very capable of working a normal job, if he lost what he has. He doesn’t feel very caring about much in the world. His focus is survival. He’s been afraid since a very young age. Maybe money is his only true friend. It shows up, can always be traded for things that help him be a little more comfortable, and he likes playing with it.

All I can do is notice my own relationship with money, and what arises when hearing other peoples’ thoughts about it. Who used my friend’s comments to trigger worry, doubt, and regret about money?

That was me.

And my own thoughts are what I can do something about. Not his.

“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is ‘out there’–as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering–the situation is hopeless.” ~ Byron Katie

He thinks money is responsible for his suffering, I think his comments about money are responsible for my suffering.

Everybody suffering. Nobody sane.

I know how to get back to sanity. The Work.

Much love,

Grace

October 4-day retreat in northeast Seattle, December 3-day retreatat Breitenbush HotSprings, Eating Peace Process in November.

May Money Sunday TeleSessions for Freedom

Cherry flowers and dollar
Do you see money as beautiful as the flowers, no matter how big or how little?

Have you been worried about money….again?

Well, I know I have.

I’ve heard from many others who appear to be plagued by money woes as well.

Not enough, I never make my OWN money, too many taxes, that client didn’t pay, that program costs too much, I should have gotten a better raise, must tighten the belt, where will it come from tomorrow, can’t EVER get enough, that was a disappointing business deal, my house sold for less than I thought, my art doesn’t sell well enough, I need more for retirement…..

…..on and on go the money thoughts.

Since I noticed my own money thoughts (very pissy about things costing too much, like my health insurance, getting the wall fixed, travel)….

….I knew it was time to offer something different.

Sliding scale.

And if you’ve got nothing, then heck….pay only $5 to cover the paypal service fee….and you’re in.

Yes, really.

People who want to do The Work on Money don’t always have a lot of money, or they THINK they don’t have a lot of money, or they’re crazy worried about money and want to keep it very close.

I know the feeling.

So let’s do The Work.

May Money Sunday Soul Sessions.

May 10, 17 and 24 from 9 am – 11 am Pacific Time.

It might seem funny to say “money” and “soul” in the same sentence, but I find my thoughts about money have been my thoughts about life, the universe and reality.

There won’t be enough. I’m not cared for or supported. I have to do this all by myself.

Let’s turn it around and do it together, instead.

Click here to sign up. You can join via the web or telephone/skype.

Even if you don’t get the chance to be the one in the hot seat, bringing a thought to inquiry, you’ll get to follow along, do your work, give yourself this most powerful investigation, for your own sake and for everyone else’s too.

Let’s be part of the Peace Movement, even with money.

Question your thinking, change your world.

Join me by clicking to my website here, and clicking the Buy button.

“Who would you be without the thought ‘I need more money to be safe?’ You might be a lot easier to be with. You might even begin to notice the laws of generosity, the laws of letting money go out fearlessly and come back fearlessly. You don’t ever need more money than you have.” ~ Byron Katie 

“Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Much love,
Grace