The mind is so active, quick, busy, full and engrossed with itself….you’re probably sayin’ “I know! Tell me about it!”
When something troubling happens, mental activity appears to kick in even more than usual: thoughts, images, voices, pictures, planning, suggestions, internal movies.
There’s a Problem.
The mind will go after that problem with a vengeance.
One thing I love about The Work is that when there is a flair-up of excitement, worry or adrenaline….there is something to “do” with the feelings and thoughts that occupies the busy mind.
When something difficult happens in life, often there is a core underlying shout, a belief, that appears.
Maybe it’s not so obvious, but if you ask yourself about a really sad, scary or irritating situation you’ve experienced, then you may find that you really believe one of these thoughts is true:
- there’s something wrong!
- I need to change!
- this is terrible!
- I can’t live with this feeling!
- I have to know what to do!
- I’m not safe!
- I’m not enough (so I need support, love, money, etc)
When there is a really deep painful belief like one of these coming up, and felt very profoundly inside of you, you may not be able to sleep, sit still, work, talk to friends, stop talking to friends, relax.
You may feel overwhelming urges to avoid thinking about this troubling event by eating, drinking, smoking, watching television, or obsessing about a new relationship.
But like I said, I do like The Work for investigating very deep unsettling beliefs, because I can follow the steps, one-by-one, slowly, and using my imagination to expand my viewpoint.
You get to take this simple action….The Work….and examine your idea that feels so very true.
This situation is terrible, and I need to fix it and know what to do.
NOW.
Is that true?
Yes! I’m making check lists, I’m writing out plans, I’m making phone calls, I’m compulsively moving, going, busy, anxious.
Stop.
Can I absolutely know that it’s true that this situation is terrible, that I am not happy at all, that I can’t live this way, that I’m not safe?
In the most basic sense, No. I am breathing, living, I am loved, this appears to be part of the human condition (it’s happened to plenty of others).
No. Even if I have no idea what to do, I’m here, now, alive.
How do I react when I believe these core underlying disturbing beliefs?
Like I’m on a racetrack, running…or angry, furious…or very sad, despairing and tearful.
Now here’s the Great Leap to Question Four: Who would I be without these underlying thoughts? If I couldn’t believe them to be true? If they were just not so dang serious?
Who would I be if these thoughts were NOT TRUE?
One thing I say over and over to my clients, that works so well for me, is imagining being a tree.
Trees grow, in just the right amount at just the right time and they do not believe they are doing it wrong, or that they are in danger, even if someone comes along and chops them down.
They are not busy planning how to fix a situation, manipulate, control, change or switch routines.
“Watch any plant or animal and let it teach you acceptance of what is, surrender to the Now. Let it teach you Being. Let it teach you integrity – which means to be one, to be yourself, to be real. Let it teach you how to live and how to die, and how not to make living and dying into a problem.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Even if it feels crazy at the moment…simply consider who you would be without these beliefs that something terrible has happened.
Just the act of entering this imagination, you may notice, changes something ever so slightly within.
Byron Katie suggests that The Work is meditation. It is a waiting, slowing down, stopping, contemplating.
Holding still at some inner place…..even if you are going to the market, preparing your kids’ school lunch, cleaning out the garage, applying for jobs, answering the phone.
Who would you be without that story?
Only 3 days more to sign up for YOI, Year Of Inquiry. If you’d like support with entering the quiet of simply questioning your thoughts, supported by others, then write me at grace@workwithgrace.com.
