There are two ways to live this summer; one is loving what is, the other is to be at war with it.

Speaking of summer camp, I’m off to Breitenbush for the annual retreat there.

Time out for really digging in to The Work. No tasks, chores, laundry, admin, cooking, or doing anything else with the exception of coming to three gatherings each day with sincere people deepening self-inquiry, together.

In some ways…it’s not exactly “retreat” as we tend to call these times away.

It’s a “charge!” 

(As the brilliant Stephen Jenkinson, one of my favorite mentors and authors, likes to say about group gatherings filled with questioning out loud).

I notice both Retreat and Charge seem to come from war references, as many of our communications do.

Funny to consider when we go on “retreat” that it’s our daily regular normal life we’re retreating from. We get away from it like it’s the front line, then regroup, plan, assess, rest, reset…and head back to the life.

If we think of our time away as a “Charge!” (a turnaround) then this fits for me when it comes to The Work.

As Byron Katie says herself: ‘I call it The Work because….it’s work.’

The other day I found myself having some defeated thoughts about the moment. Another “war” term, I notice, in this word “defeated”.

I felt tired, like doing very little, yet the mind was commenting about how if I give up I’ll never cross the finish line.

“Go, Go, Go!” shouts the mind. Never stop! Give it your all! Do the thing!

What finish line? Good grief.

So today, noticing the thoughts or sounds in the mind that suggest there’s something to fight, win, push against, grasp for, beat, crush, give-it-your-all, finish.

And noticing they are not ever true, not forever, not even now.

There are five birds in my cherry tree right outside my window, eating my cherries.

Those are MY cherries. The birds shouldn’t be eating them! Fight the birds!

Is that true?

LOL.

Who would I be without the thought I “have to” make them go away. I “have to” do the thing. I “have to” keep my nose to the grindstone. I “have to” get it done.

I’d be laughing.

This really is an incredible amusing, joy-filled life with craziness and zaniness and misery and cherry-eating-birds and lists that are never quite done.

And, I notice, time for doing something that shouts, gleefully….CHARGE!!! Then other moments that say RETREAT.

Without attacking anything or needing to go to war about any of This, or seeing any of what happens day to day as a problem. Simply questioning stressful stories. And loving life.

Turning it all around: No one has to do anything, or make anything happen, or accomplish, push, grab, press, finish, or get anything done, or stop birds from eating cherries.

Could that be just as true or truer?

Well it’s certainly entertaining and exciting, for me, to notice the examples I see in the world of this being true.

I notice there are at least five species and sizes of birds out there pecking and hopping and flying and eating away. Plus a squirrel.

What entertainment!

“Who would you be without the thought you want him to get up and do something more constructive? [And you can do this on wanting yourself to be more constructive.] There are two ways to live this out; one is loving what is, and the other is to be at war with it.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

P.S. I made a video on facebook about doing The Work on FEAR and what I’ve found very helpful for starters when wanting to question and understand anxiety-producing, or very traumatic and fearful events. Watch HERE. Leave a comment or question and “like” the page if you haven’t already.

Crystal clear: The way it revealed…It’s called What Is.

No longer a will of your own: Good news. No war required. No tugging.

The Living Turnarounds group just met yesterday afternoon and oh my, what a delicious inquiry delight.

Three people couldn’t make it last minute, for various reasons, so we had only five.

Which was rich, amazing and full.

Worksheet topics were the following:

  • interim minister at the church isn’t allowing announcements the way we’ve always done it
  • husband at the dinner table isn’t eating the food
  • I should know where I’ll live and work in my future…or else I’ll get stuck in a soul-sucking job
  • the worst that could happen when driving is passing out at the wheel
  • I voted for Trump, and am afraid everyone hates me

So brilliant.

I love everyone’s depth of honesty.

These people have the hang of The Work by being involved in this in-depth group. Some are in Year of Inquiry, or were in previous years, so have a ton of experience questioning their thoughts steadily over time. Some have attended the School for The Work with Katie.

They know not to immediately begin to try and solve other people’s worksheets, offer a ton of advice, or go on and on telling their story and justifying or explaining their pain from their own worksheets.

But I have to admit.

I especially loved the worksheet presented by the participant who was upset by all the Trump-haters.

Everyone got to do The Work on a key stressful belief from their upsetting situation….but this Trump voter was the very last. We took only 15 minutes to begin the process of questioning her first belief “these intolerant people are impossible for me to deal with!”

(She was referring to all the people ranting and raving about Trump on facebook, and the current political scene in the US. She felt surrounded, all her friends on the “other side”. If they only knew her thoughts….)

As a facilitator, I’ve had people many times now do The Work on the election, Trump, those who voted in Trump, and other related thoughts. I’ve heard Katie doing The Work up on stage with people with similar sentiments.

I love hearing a worksheet from someone standing in the other camp.

Someone in the group said “that worksheet could have been mine exactly” only she voted for Clinton.

How do humans react when they believe the thought that someone should be doing it That Other Way?

WAR! FIGHT! KILL! RUN!

Who would you be without your beliefs about that dreadful situation, those people against you, that difficult outcome, the scary picture in your mind?

What if you just simply couldn’t have the awareness of that thing, that group, that situation you’re against?

Who would you be without that belief?

I love that you don’t have to BE there, to answer that question. It’s using the imagination to wonder who you WOULD be, without your thought?

It’s an exciting thing to wonder about, to ask, to ponder. It turns your mind to other alternatives. You’re not all upset with What Is, you’re interested in What You Don’t Know.

Imagination kicks in, and it’s exciting instead of horrifying.

Turning the thought around: They should be doing it exactly the way they’re doing it. I shouldn’t be doing it like that (the way I oppose).

How could this be just as true, or truer?

How could it be an advantage, or interesting, or helpful…..even the BEST thing that could happen?

Woah. You mean? Are you serious?

Trump should be in office? My husband should be eating nothing at the dinner table? My sister should be giving me the silent treatment? My boyfriend should have turned out to be a loser? I shouldn’t know where I’m going to live? My minister should be shaking up the church? I should be experiencing panic attacks?

Well, why not?

That’s what this work is truly, madly, deeply about. It’s about questioning what we think is true that brings PAIN and SUFFERING and WAR into our minds and hearts.

Doesn’t it sound great to question these things?

Yes.

“Don’t settle for scratching the surface of things. Everything happens as it should; that’s just the way of it….I follow the way of it, which is always revealed in the moment. It’s God’s will, and it’s always crystal clear.” ~ Byron Katie

If you’re interested in hearing The Work from someone who voted for Trump, who has thoughts about those against her….stay tuned for a live inquiry jam session very soon, where I’ll facilitate her on this amazing worksheet. It will likely be a Sunday morning Pacific Time. Everyone welcome to listen in live, and share or ask questions after inquiry.

Let’s do this.

Much love,

Grace