Tag: waking up

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Regular People Like You Waking Up

If you missed my interview with certified facilitator of The Work, Celeste Gabrielle, head to my youtube channel and watch HERE.(There are more and more interviews around self-inquiry added over time, and I might get better at making videos too, who knows.)

For me it is profoundly inspiring to find out the personal stories of people, just like you and me, who found self-inquiry in the form of The Work of Byron Katie and/or other inquiry, and how it changed their lives and brought awakening to their world.

Regular peeps.

This “work” of self-inquiry….it’s called “work” because it kinda is, right?

You direct your attention, you focus, you return to the questions, you go out and in like breath, you get a light-bulb that goes off, you’re inspired, you wonder, your mind works and buzzes, you behave differently, you speak or don’t speak in new ways, you feel different….

….it’s so exciting.

The gears start, and keep going.

No longer stuck. No longer repeating the exact same thoughts over and over and over again.

You actually move on to the next stressful thought ready for inquiry, maybe you rotate back to a similar situation but find yourself acting different this time—just a wee bit.

That tiny difference makes a huge difference….

….like the butterfly wings flapping on the other side of Figi or whatever make a storm occur weeks later on the other side of the planet.

Movement, insight, and joy happen.

Or, it’s discovered that it was there all along, we just didn’t see it until we looked more closely.

The thing I love most about The Work and simply contemplating magnificent questions about life and my perceptions of it….

….is that it doesn’t take me doing years and years of therapy, it doesn’t take finding a perfect guru, it doesn’t take money, it doesn’t take death, it doesn’t take finding true love, it doesn’t take having a healthy body…..

…..it takes whatever it takes.

All these things are amazing, and some of them are indeed part of the journey for some people.

But there are no absolutes, and nothing is required.

Your life will show you what to question.

All you have to do (and it’s not even a “have to” really) is answer the simple questions.

Your life, and your inner brilliant wise silence, will show you how to answer.

And oh so wonderful to hear other people’s adventures along this path called life!

They help us connect and turn us back to our own journeys….

….and how we are all one and the same, with apparently different details, flavors, colors, and incidents.

How has self-inquiry helped you along your life path?

I’d love to know!

Leave a comment below or you can also leave a comment when you watch on youtube in the comments section. It’s so much fun to share. And it may mean more than you know for someone else.

Your life matters.

Because.

“What would it be like if you didn’t need to struggle, if you didn’t need to make an effort to find peace and happiness? What would that feel like now? And just take a moment to be quiet and see if peace or stillness is with you in this moment.” ~ Adyashanti

Much love,

Grace

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Knock Knock, Who’s There? Eternal Nagging

I’ve mentioned before that the guy who’s often called the father of modern psychology, William James, is quoted as saying:

“There is nothing so fatiguing as the eternal nagging of an uncompleted task.”

But WE know it’s really about the eternal nagging of an “un-inquired thought.”

By that I mean a thought that keeps knocking…and knocking… and knocking on the door of our awareness….

…politely trying to get our attention at first.

Maybe just having a little sour feeling about some upcoming tasks.

Then you remember that incident with your mother, quite a long time ago, and you feel disturbed.

Then you have a startling moment with your teenager and the thought, you realize, is more present.

Cranking it from a gentle knock and a whisper…to a thump and a loud cough…to a louder, “HEY!,”….

And then you experience a shattering betrayal, a frightening accident, a dreadful loss.

The eternal nagging has become a scream, and it’ll kick the door down if we continue to ignore it.

It’s like the Ever Ready Bunny that keeps going…and going…and going…

Of course, I think a wonderful and safe place to “open the door,” acknowledge the knocking, and inquire into the thought and the pain, is to sit yourself down and do The Work.

You can do this in Summer Camp this summer, or a teleclass (Eating Peace will begin in a month, stay tuned), or in a Year of Inquiry if you’re serious about the practice of investigating thoughts, starting in September.

Begin by writing down what nags at you, what disturbs you. Visit your worries, invite them in.

Before they turn into really rowdy, difficult guests.

But even if they are difficult, you can do it.

Be better than well.

Much love, Grace

 

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Doing The Work On Yourself

A very sincere inquirer contacted me to renew a series of sessions doing The Work recently.

She’s done the School for The Work, she has deep appreciation for and experience in examining her mind using the four questions.

But she had a dilemma, something I’ve heard from others, not just this caring woman.

How do I do The Work on myself?

Because, she said, I “get” that the process of observing my world and feeling upset has to do with stressful thinking….

….but the stressful thoughts inside my mind are all about me, not others.

If you think this from time to time, (or all the time) you are certainly not alone.

“Most of us have been pointing our criticism and judgments at ourselves for years, and it hasn’t solved anything yet…..It is extremely difficult to judge yourself. Some of us are very invested in our identifications; our ideas about ourselves–how we should look, how we should feel, what we should or shouldn’t be doing–are so strong that we may not be able to answer the four questions and do the turnarounds honestly.” ~ Byron Katie

I always recommend finding incidents and people who you really feel hurt by, because noticing your thoughts about these situations and relaxing them, allowing them to be, even turning them around to the opposite, can be deeply empowering.

But if you use your answers to slap yourself and get meaner than ever….maybe doing The Work on what you think about the universe, your mind, your thoughts, or your feelings can be very enlightening.

Start by making a list about what you hate about yourself. Be specific, be clear.

Here’s what the inquirer I worked with today found:

  • I’ll never succeed
  • I can’t stop being anxious (and I should stop)
  • My sleep patterns are ridiculous, I can’t sleep at the right time
  • This depression goes on and on, without change
  • Where is God? Not here!
  • My situation is hopeless, I want to give up
  • I’m a burden to all the people who love me

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Even one of these thoughts will make you crawl under the covers, or sob, or wish you were dead.

I remember feeling this way myself.

At the end of my rope. Totally defeated.

Let’s take a look at some of these thoughts (like I did with my client).

Is it true that this situation is completely and totally hopeless? Are you sure you’re a burden to everyone who encounters you? Can you be certain that you should stop being anxious, and that your depression has lasted too long?

Yes. Double yes.

Sigh.

Even if you know this to be absolutely true for you….notice how you react and what happens next for you, when you believe these kinds of thoughts.

I feel soooo tired. More depressed. Desperate, isolated, fragmented. Against my mind, thinking there is something wrong with me and my brain, and that life isn’t supposed to be this way.

Angry, imploded. In the past, I might want to drink a lot, smoke, or eat even when not hungry. I’d avoid other people. Very introverted.

So who would you be without these kinds of terrible, painful thoughts?

Without the thought that your situation is hopeless, who would you be?

Listening. Taking one step. Going outside. Stopping. Looking. Waiting until you’re moved to go where you go.

I turn the thoughts around:

  • I always succeed (the “I” that is eternal)
  • I can stop being anxious (and I shouldn’t stop until I do)
  • My sleep patterns are what they are, there is no right time or way to sleep (comparing is very stressful)
  • This depression does NOT go on without change
  • God is here
  • My situation is not hopeless, I don’t want to give up
  • I’m NOT a burden to all the people who love me, I’m a burden to myself

I can find the truth in all of these turnarounds….but here is one profound idea: YES, this is quite hopeless, but that is NOT a bad thing, it’s a good thing.

I know it’s weird.

The first time ever that I talked with Adya on a longer meditation retreat, I went up to the microphone. Not too shy to speak and ask a question. I was burning with curiosity.

I surprised myself by standing at the mic, and not being able to talk. Like the words got caught inside my throat, and stuck…and then tears welled up.

All I said at first, after some silence and trying to control my choking up was “I’ve tried everything….”

(Honestly, I now don’t believe that was even true, but it was good I believed that at the time, haha).

Adya said “Congratulations”.

Wait. What?

Oh.

Hopeless. Oh.

Nothing I can do. Nothing possible to do to get out of this situation, not really. Wow.

It does take some pressure off. You know?

“When you realize the truth, then you know that this truth is not fooling around. This truth wants you, and it wants your life, and it’s going to devour you and eat you up for dinner. The truth is not playing games.” ~ Adyashanti 

When you feel like all the thoughts that plague you are about yourself, about your mind, your feelings, your way of thinking, your mood….then go for it. Be there.

You can call the Help Line at www.thework.com and receive facilitation on your thoughts.

If I could do this inquiry, so can you, so can you.

“Waking up is like dying. Dying to the past. Dying to the known. Dying to all your thoughts, ideas and beliefs. Dying to who and what you think you are. Dying to all hope of something better. Dying to everything. Letting go of every attempt to hold on. Losing everything that can be lost and discovering what remains.” ~ Joan Tollifson (joantollifson.com)

Much love, Grace