stress reduction – The Work of Byron Katie with Grace

May 24, 2015

Be Curious Like A Kid At A Magic Show

This weekend I learned that for magicians, if they had to choose between audiences of adults or kids for who would be most easily and quickly fooled…..

…it would be adults.

The kids, apparently, are super curious, trying to figure out the trick, and able to think more outside the box.

magic — Could you become more lightly curious about your troubles?

Wouldn’t it be great to have this approach when it comes to understanding stress, pain, and conflict in your life?I had a smile come across my face as I realized….

….that’s what self-inquiry and The Work offer.

A way to become curious about your problems, to study them with an open mind that knows there’s some other way to see this….

….you just don’t know what it is, yet.

When you have something deeply disturbing you….

….who would you be without the belief you have to figure it out, that this is serious, or that having no answer is frustrating, or terribly depressing?

What if you could trust, just a tad, that everything will be revealed at the right moment, in the right way, for your greatest peace, or enjoyment, or clarity?

I notice when I consider this question….

….I breath very deeply and pause.

Something within relaxes.

Maybe even becomes curious.

Without your stressful story….who, or what, would you be?

“You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.”

~ John O’Donohue

Could you be curious about your dilemma, like you are watching a magic show?

What is your stressful thought, the one you’re thinking over and over again?

Take it through inquiry.

A beautiful way to be gentle with yourself.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Peace Talk podcast speaks to stress and money starting today, and two more times this upcoming week. Subscribe and listenHERE. Submit a rating and a review on itunes–it really helps get the word out.

May 21, 2015

Are You A Bump On A Pickle?

Pickle on a Fork My three sisters and I used to spend many summers with my grandparents in Muskogee, Oklahoma.

It was hot as an oven outside and we swam constantly in their backyard pool.

Some afternoons, we came inside to the cool air conditioned house in the hottest part of the afternoon and listened to records or watched Bat Man.

My grandma used to say, if she saw too much lazin’ around, or TV watchin’ going on with our bloodshot eyes from so much swimming:

What are you, a bump on a pickle?

Sometimes, people will write to me and ask….

….but if I do The Work on everything, I’ll wind up a puddle on the floor and do nothing.

Like, ever.

I’ll blow away across the horizon like a speck of dust. I’ll accomplish nothing.

I won’t care if someone hits me, I won’t follow doctor’s orders, or I’ll never make a million dollars, or publish a book.

They ask “don’t you worry about losing all your vim and vigor, your drive or passion, or your will?”

Well, I’ve had this thought myself, in the past.

If I really relax entirely, end this battle with all the little movements of life, and give in to what is….

….I’ll be nothing, do nothing, achieve nothing, desire nothing.

People get images of themselves never leaving difficult relationships, giving up on their dream of completing something creative, not sticking up for themselves or for others they care about.

But who would you be without the belief that who you are naturally, without having concern with reality in your mind, is a puddle of mush?

Who would you be without the thought its dangerous to give up being concerned?

Who would you be without the belief you have to make an effort, you have to “try”, you need to get somewhere, and you better be workin’ hard, dang it!?!

Are you sure you’d be a passive pile of nothingness?

Lately, I’ve noticed more than ever how life magnificently works itself out, dances and moves without me controlling things.

This includes ME not needing to control MYSELF!

Yes, a weird concept.

Who would you be without your belief that truly resting means you’re a bump on a pickle?

“When you follow the simple way of it, you notice that reality holds all the wisdom you’ll ever need. You don’t need any wisdom of your own. Plans are unnecessary. Reality always shows you what comes next, in a clearer, kinder, more efficient way than you could possibly discover for yourself.” ~ Byron Katie

Take a moment and feel how you are OK, and you are supported right now, as you read these words.

You are so wonderful, just the way you are, right now.

Don’t try to change.

Everything will be OK.

I think my grandma may have asked the best question ever. The answer is “yes”….I am a bump on a pickle.

In a good way.

Much love, Grace

February 12, 2015

Stress: A Built-In Friendly Alarm Clock To Awakening

Have you heard my new little podcast episodes (only 4-6 minutes each) Peace Talk on itunes….this week its on LOVE and when it goes wrong. Subscribe and submit a review!

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Yowser, I am very excited today.

Have you ever been super nervous crazy excited about something about to happen, and you LIKE the thing about to happen, but it’s almost too exciting?

This may sound a little low-key to you (I am the one jumping up and down)….

….but I have a new Eating Peace online class opening up for registration on Saturday morning….

….and the very same day, I’m leaving to go away with my sweetheart for two nights to a surprise destination (husband made the reservations)!

Valentine’s Day!!!

Here’s the funniest thing.

When I was getting married (to current husband–2nd marriage) only 2-1/2 years ago, my skin on my hands started getting flakey in the few weeks before.

Then they started pealing.

Like a strange sort of eczema only on my hands. I kept putting lotion all over them, I made sure not to drink any caffeine or anything dehydrating, and was kinda wondering what was going on.

Summer shedding of skin?

Then my mom caught a glimpse of them and said, “oh, your getting your stress reaction you’ve always gotten since you were young, remember?”

Oh!

Weird. I completely forgot.

THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE.

How incredibly odd to forget such a thing. The mind is very good at blanking out.

And I’m pretty interested in conscious awareness of myself and all my actions!

This reminded me that energy racing through the body has its own way, and the mind is not always aware (your mind might like to

think it is…..but, not so much).

For me, a very, very introverted person by nature, having all the attention of a wedding was pretty wild. Awesome, but wild.

Same with this coming weekend with a course and a surprise vacation happening.

But as I sit here right now, writing….

….who would I be without the belief that something around the corner, where I’ll have attention directed towards me and I’ll need to respond and stay engaged….is stressful?

Who would I be without the belief that the energy I feel inside is stressy?

What if it was gentle, calm, being connected with others, answering peoples’ questions, responding to emails and registrations, driving off to spend time with my best friend and husband, enjoying close conversation, relaxing and feeling anticipation all at the same time?

Gosh. I don’t know if I can feel truly relaxed in this situation.

But what would it be like without THAT thought?

Ahhhhh.

Suddenly I get it.

I could let my whole body get floppy. My shoulders drop, I stretch my legs out while writing here, with my laptop on my thighs.

I take a very deep, long breath.

Tick, tock, slow, down.

Right now is now. Empty room. Space, quiet.

Even tomorrow, and the next day, when activity is happening and computers, emails, packing, driving, busy-ness are all occurring….

….there is still quiet space.

“That’s the purpose of stress. It’s a friend. It’s an alarm clock, built in to let you know that it’s time to do The Work. You’ve simply lost the awareness that you’re free. So you investigate, and you return to what you are. This is what’s waiting to be recognized, what is always real.” ~ Byron Katie

Love, Grace

June 15, 2013

Cell Phone Sets Mind Off

It’s funny how the tiniest thought can produce just a wee bit ‘o stress“my cell phone should not have run out of battery power”.

I knew it wasn’t a matter of life or death…CLEARLY.

But still.

I told someone I would call them back 5 minutes ago. I will now be quite late. They will be waiting for me.

And what if my children are trying to text me RIGHT NOW?

Yeah, now that I think about it…I want to text my husband, and my good friend who texted me earlier. But I can’t! This is annoying!

And that person is waiting….they might even be getting upset. Dang! I hate my new phone! My old phone had a better battery!

Jeez, what kind of company would make a phone that drains out of battery power so quickly?

How did I overlook the battery level being so low? I don’t remember using the phone that much…did I do something?

Is there something else I haven’t learned yet about this phone, something that inadvertently uses up all the battery power?

Probably, it’s so complicated! I don’t even understand all the features. There are too many of them! I just want a simple phone!

Getting this phone was a big mistake!!!!

That’s how the mind runs sometimes. It’s like it’s flitting from idea to idea, figuring out the source of the problem.

Digging down into a deeper, more intense, more theatrical belief.

Have you ever looked at your beloved partner and through the same process of disgruntled stressful thinking…..gone from being upset that he doesn’t wipe the mud off his shoes, to concluding that this relationship is doomed?

Or maybe you had a flat tire, or took longer than expected in the store, or you got stuck in heavy traffic, or you cut your finger, or you couldn’t sleep, or you received some news in the mail….and your heart jumps, you experience a little worrisome image, your mind thinks this could be serious.

Not just serious….dire. Dreadful. Tragic.

For a long time, I carried in my wallet a cartoon drawing that reminded me of the Drama Queen Mind.

It was a one-frame square cartoon image. A man was standing, opening his mail. The only written word in the drawing was a bubble coming out of an envelope he was holding as he ripped one end of the envelope open….“tear”.

In the background, his dog was going berserk. The drawing captured this dog going completely ballistic, and the man turning quizically towards the dog, as if wondering what the heck was the problem?

Beneath the frame was the caption “As usual, violent behavior sets the dog off.”

As usual, a major freakin’ emergency sets the mind off (cell phone ran out of battery, what else).

Fortunately, that all happens so fast, that with inquiry….without taking it seriously….a few more minutes go by and I am chuckling about the phone, and I notice all is incredibly well. Later the person I was calling back didn’t seem to notice how late I was.

But don’t berate or be upset with yourself if you react more drastically. It sometimes is the way of it.

Then you’ll know to question whether what you’re thinking is an emergency is actually true? And you may discover quite quickly that it’s not.

And then maybe when a true actual emergency comes along…that won’t feel so much like one, either.

“So, how do you get back to heaven? To begin with, just notice the thoughts that take you away from it. You don’t have to believe everything your thoughts tell you. Just become familiar with the particular thoughts you use to deprive yourself of happiness. It may seem strange at first to get to know yourself in this way, but becoming familiar with your stressful thoughts will show you the way home to everything you need.” ~ Byron Katie

Much Love, Grace

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