So grateful for the inquirers who showed up yesterday for the open telecalls to do The Work.
Deep gratitude for those who participated out loud, and those who participated by simply listening.
Here are the recording links:
Click HERE to replay the 8 am recording telecall
Click HERE to listen to the replay of the 5:15 pm telecall
I would also LOVE if you answered any of the questions in this survey (entirely anonymous) to help me improve, format, and bring The Work to you in ways that best serve you.
You don’t have to have been on the telecalls to answer some of the questions, so join in and answer whichever ones apply. I am grateful for your feedback:
CLICK HERE to answer a few questions
During the call in the morning, someone offered a really common painful belief that many humans have experienced at some time in their lives.
Have you ever had the stressful thought “that person should have honored our agreement!”
Yikes! I sure have!
In a very broad sense, I have felt this with spouse, mother, father, grandparents, best friend, man I dated, boss, co-worker, neighbor, children…
…this thought has risen in mild or extreme situations. It has encompassed my relationship to Reality in a very deep way.
Here’s what I mean:
- my spouse should listen to me
- my child should do what I ask
- my mother should be patient
- my father should live
- money should be more available
- my friend should have been honest with me
- my friend should have respected me
- my boss should have supported me
- my co-worker should have trusted me
- God/Source should have kept me safe
In all these situations where I believed these thoughts, there was a basic “agreement” I had in mind about how life should work, what should happen, what should be honored….and that agreement WAS NOT KEPT.
According to me.
Apparently, the other people involved had a different idea.
So who would I really, honestly be in that situation where someone didn’t meet my expectations, where they broke our agreement, where they surprised me with a change, and I did not think they shouldn’t do that?
Who says that people shouldn’t be allowed to step away, reconsider, or review their situations and make a new choice?
Even if it feels like the broken agreement hurts me?
Do I really want that person, those people, the entire universe to keep this thing I am calling an agreement and honor it forever, no matter what…even if they don’t WANT to honor the agreement?
The first turnaround to this painful belief is that the person in that troubling situation should NOT have honored their agreement.
It should have been broken.
Wow. Can I open my mind to find this opposite side of duality, the flip side of what I’ve been holding on to with resentment?
Is there anything that came out of that person not honoring the agreement we had that brought forth something important, powerful, life-changing…even magnificent?
That’s a big word.
But if we think the way it went was horrible, devastating, mean, disappointing, tragic….then we may need to find a big word for the opposite, to enter the feeling of the turnaround.
As I think about turning around my whole entire attitude, sensation and belief about this situation, can I find the possibility that this person DID honor our agreement?
I can find this to be truer for me.
That person was genuine, revealing, and real. They showed themselves….they showed their confusion, their discomfort, their fear, their love. They showed their anxiety, their belief-system.
When they apparently didn’t keep their agreement, they gave me the chance to keep my own agreement with myself: to be free, to love, to detach, to stop being a victim.
That person gave me to opportunity to say “no” freely, to say “yes” freely.
What do I really want in this life? In this situation?
To be me, to love myself, to love them, to stay awake, to allow, to let go, to know that I am OK, no matter what—even if people break their agreements with me, even if I hurt, even if I die.
And even as I consider deeply what I want, I am not sure I want anything except what is actually happening, and what has already happened….I mean, its all a Great Mystery.
“All that happiness is already supplied, but the unquestioned mind is so loud you don’t realize the happiness underneath that mind….You’re not in charge of it. It’s already there for you. I don’t have to do anything for my happiness; I just notice the world without my story, and in that I notice that I’m happy. It’s always supplied….The unquestioned mind fights anything that would bring you joy.”~ Byron Katie
Could it be true that even if that person is doing that thing that doesn’t appear kind or loving, that I am still at the very core deeply happy?
OK, if “happy” is a bit too much…how about OK? Are you still OK, no matter what has happened? You’re reading this, right?
Yes.
“The Master never reaches for the great; thus she achieves greatness. When she runs into a difficulty, she stops and gives herself to it. She doesn’t cling to her own comfort; thus problems are no problem for her.” ~ Tao Teo Ching #63
Click here to read about or register for the 8 week teleclass Turning Relationship Hell to Heaven. Still room for two on Thursday mornings 8 am 9/12-11/7 (no class 10/10).
Click here to read about or register for YOI Year of Inquiry (only one spot left). You can register for telecalls only, or add the retreats and/or solo sessions. Discounted fees if you pay upfront, but monthly payment is also easy to set up.
Love, Grace