Tag: present moment

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Can You Feel Love In This Moment?

Yesterday I got to spend time in my all-time favorite wonder of all wonders…..what is All This? Who am I? Where am I? Is it true?

Who would I be, what would I be, without thought, beyond thought?

Wow.

Either these are the most fun questions on the planet, or the most fun answers.

I am gathered in a small group of people who I adore. Even if I’m not sure of everyone’s family details or I don’t know major events in their lives.

It doesn’t matter.

There is a deep sense of everyone showing up with great love, being 100% in, committed to each other, listening to our hearts, accepting our minds, feeling our bodies, cherishing the words of the teacher we’re with (Ross Oldenstadt).

But the teacher is ultimately….the feeling of being alive.

Hearing the stories of awakening, searching and suffering from Ross and from the other people gathered is so intimate, like the sweetest thing I could ever taste in the world.

That moment.

And now….in my hotel room….

….Is this moment just as intimate, loving, spectacular, joyful?

Woah.

Yes.

If you aren’t sure you’re having a good moment today, maybe even right now as you read these words……double-check to see if it’s true that it’s not a good moment, or could be improved.

Are you sure?

Can you be absolutely positively sure?

How do you react when you believe THIS is not great. When you think it could be a little better. You could be more enlightened, other people could be nicer, the weather could be sunnier, you could be more successful, you could be healthier, you could be richer?

How do you react, what do you notice, when you think this isn’t that great, or that something is missing?

Dang.

Dissatisfied. Resentful. Gathering energy to renew forces on the Moment Improvement Project.

But what if right now was the most brilliant, stunning, loving, safe moment you could ever want or need?

Take a deep, deep breath and see if you can find the presence of loving kindness, tenderness, safety, joy, excitement, richness, abundance, and health….right now.

Not later, NOW.

In this room where I sit I hear a soft hum, very steady like a fan. The desk under my forearms as I type is cool and smooth. I smell the soap and feel clean after a shower. There are papers, a can of sardines, two apples, a hard drive, books, pens, a paper clip, someone’s business card.

Stuff is everywhere. The world is overflowing in this room, there is so much in here!

A screen brightly glowing that sends and receives messages to people and from people all over the world.

If you’re not sure this moment is amazing…don’t worry. 

You don’t have to think anything. There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re a little disappointed with the moment. Or enraged.

“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is ‘out there’–as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering–the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.” ~ Byron Katie

As long as I think the cause of my problem is that there is something missing, in this moment (including inside me) I’m suffering in paradise.

I notice the very same thing I feel with all my friends here, and Ross, during retreat, I also feel right now, typing on my laptop, brushing my teeth.

“A prince who believes himself to be a beggar can be convinced conclusively in one way only: he must behave as a prince and see what happens….With experience will come confidence…” ~ Nisargadatta

What an awesome, fascinating, peaceful moment this is right now.

Maybe yours is too?

Check to see.

Love, Grace

 

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A Kind Now Makes A Kind Future

You know that very small and admittedly big ticket high-end retreat I’m hosting that I told you about the day before yesterday?

The Serene, Powerful, Loved, Ecstatic, Enough Retreat.

I’m calling it Serenity for short.

(I’ve only watched about three shows in the past two decades, and Firefly was one of them. Yum. The ship name is Serenity, if you haven’t seen it).

I mentioned several special people who will attend either on skype or in person….

….Well, I’ll tell you who just one of the presenters will be:

Arielle Ford.

And she’s coming in person.

She is famous for her process and book called The Soulmate Secret, a way to find the perfection in imperfection in our primary relationships.

Isn’t that what we’re all doing with The Work?

Opening our minds to reality, relaxing with what we see as apparent flaws….in others, in ourselves, in life, in the world.

I learned about Arielle through her sister, the late Debbie Ford, who offered me such a beautiful way to live the turnaround of loving the end of my marriage with her book Spiritual Divorce.

For this special retreat, I also asked Byron Katie.

Naturally.

And Geneen Roth, David Whyte, Alanis Morrisette, Cheri Huber, Adyashanti and Mukti (Adya’s wife).

I expect the four days we spend together will be, quite honestly, magnificent.

I guess its not a secret anymore who just a small few of the people are who I deeply admire, so grateful for their teachings and words.

I don’t know if ALL of them will be able to say “yes”.

Which brings me to a stressful thought….kind of like the stressful thoughts you might have when you’re planning something, bringing something together.

Maybe you’re supposed to lead a meeting, give a speech, give a toast, run a retreat, host a party, compete in a race, take a big test.

You’ve got a thing coming up, and you’re not completely exactly sure how it will go.

What if everyone says yes? What if no one does?

What if nobody cares? What if I don’t do well? What if I don’t pass? What if I look like a complete dork? What if something happens at the last minute?

Aiyiyiyiyi!

You need to know it’s gonna be good.

Is that true?

Well, I at least need to know it’s gonna work out OK, I mean…right? I need assurance. I need confidence!

Are you sure?

No.

How do you react when you’re hoping, waiting, practicing, imagining, wishing very hard to win that race, be “on”, do fabulously well?

Pressured, nervous, not able to relax, jumpy, fussy, commanding, pushy, busy.

Not exactly fun when it swings into that pressure zone.

So who would you be without the belief that you need to know it will be good, go well, that everyone will come, that it will be awesome….

….even while you know it will very, very likely be happening (you can never know absolutely that anything will happen) and there are things to do beforehand, like planning, that help make it easier?

I notice without the belief that I need to know something will go super crazy well, that I’m very joyful in this moment, now, just imagining that future event.

I’m happy right now.

It’s OK if it does, or does not, happen the way I’m seeing it. I’m not even seeing it set up a certain set way…it’s just a feeling of happiness and gratitude about this moment, this fun world where time seems to pass and the future arrives.

“Freedom means living in kindness, AS kindness. It means never having a moment of fear, anger, or sadness–living totally exposed, as a gift. There’s nothing personal in it.” ~ Byron Katie

If you’re one of the very unique individuals who is called to join the private Serenity Retreat, click HERE to send in your application. It will be limited to 8 inquirers.

Much love, Grace

P.S. Year of Inquiry has registrations coming in. If you’d like to learn more about YOI, click HERE. We start together in September for a whole year of inquiry together. I already know, it is good. YOI JOY!

Opening The Mind is Miraculous

“The strongest part about YOI was the action of me making a commitment to do this for an entire year. There was something very profound in that. Having the fellowship of everybody else was very strong for me. I feel like I made real friends. Friends that will last a lifetime. I’m feeling very serene, similar to like when I just came out of The School except that this high has already lasted longer 🙂 I believe the length of lasting is proportional to the length of time in the class, ie, due to the length of time in the class. YOI is a great way to feel emotionally and spiritually connected to a group. It is a wonderful path of releasing old, worn-out, misunderstood belief patterns. The opening of the mind is a miraculous and spiritual experience like no other.” ~ YOI Participant 2013-2014

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The Moment Is Always Benevolent

Soooooo excited about so many people coming from all over the country to spend a weekend together in our Year of Inquiry group. They are here! Arrived in Seattle!

The anticipation! The happiness! Hand-clapping!

Because….I love doing The Work all weekend. There is depth and clarity by staying with the process in a steady, consistent way. Even when we change it up (partners working with each other, group exercises, walking, imagining life in our turnarounds) it’s like we’re saying we love the company of our own minds.

OK, well, maybe that’s getting a bit carried away….because one of the deeper reasons people gather together to inquire is because sometimes, the company of our own minds has NOT been loving.

It’s been downright nuts!

Not long ago, I spent some time with a wonderful inquirer who was looking with anticipation at an upcoming event.

She was going to be seeing an old flame, at a wedding. She was not feeling very happy about it.

He’s going to try to come over and talk with me. He’s going to ask why we broke up again. He’s going to beg, or cause a scene. 

I asked her if she was positive that was true?

She couldn’t know. It was in the future. In fact, she actually couldn’t even REALLY know that he would be there. She just HEARD that he would be.

How did she react when she believed the thought that it would be uncomfortable to see Mr. X out in the world?

Tense, now, in this very moment (3 months, by the way, before the event). A rush of adrenaline pulsing through her. Anxious. Worried.

I remember having the same kinds of thoughts. Someone I hadn’t seen in over 2 years. Big event with many people. Every day I would think about what I might do when I ran into him…and fortunately I had The Work and I would come up with “I don’t know” and wind up chuckling.

I even imagined hugging him and being so happy to see him.

But I know what it’s like when it’s not so funny. When the person you have in mind hurt you. Badly. When things were a mess between you, and you feel unresolved, you feel fear.

So, without forcing yourself to go anywhere, or do anything you might not want to do….who would you be without the belief that the person in question could hurt you? Or cause a scene? Or ask you questions you think you don’t want to answer?

What if you turned it all around and you felt the same kind of anticipation I myself feel about all the wonderful people coming over to inquire together all weekend at our retreat?

Right in this moment now, what if this was possibility, thrill, joy, wonder, and living in an I-Don’t-Know state?

“Anyone in harmony with what is has no past to project as a future, so there’s nothing she expects. Whatever appears is always fresh, brilliant, surprising, obvious and exactly what she needs….For her, everything is new. She has never seen it before. In the innocence of not knowing, in the wisdom of not needing to know, she can see that everything as it appears in the moment is always benevolent.” ~ Byron Katie

Always benevolent.

Even the possibility of “benevolent”….so fun, so exciting.

Maybe you can not only handle that thing that’s going to happen, that person, that test, that evaluation, that encounter, that interview….

….maybe its good, good, good. No matter what the outcome.

Love, Grace

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Your Birthright of Ambiguity, Uncertainty and Not Knowing

So many classes about to begin, new people to work with, ideas popping right and left, projects underway….

….in my mind yesterday I suddenly thought “it’s too much, I’m forgetting things, it’s going too fast, I need to narrow it down, too many emails to reply to, something will get missed, this class needs to start a week later, that one needs to get postponed, must finish book proposal for awaiting editor by yesterday, focus is scattered”.  

It’s like looking at a gorgeous Victorian home that has not been lived in for 40 years. You inherited the house two years ago and began making plans, hiring the architect, getting blueprints, sorting out how to restore and improve this beautiful building from the studs up.

But you don’t exactly have thousands of dollars to draw from to put into this place. So it’s taking awhile.

But the plans are in place, you’ve had lots of good experience, you’ve imagined with joy what this will look like.

And yet, in one moment “this will never get done”.

Followed by a feeling of deflation. The air went out of the balloon and there is a little wrinkled bag of rubber in its place.

The party’s over.

And then, depending on the magnitude of the loss….perhaps a relationship that you’ve worked on for several years is really ending, perhaps the house will go into foreclosure, perhaps you’ve been binge-eating like this for two decades off and on…

total despair.

This will never get done….I’ll never get there. 

Time for The Work.

Is it true?

I don’t know. But with this feeling of giving up, feeling hopeless, wanting to quit, throw in the towel, bag the whole thing…..it’s likely.

Can you absolutely know it is true, that you’ll never get there? That this vision you have will never come to fruition? That you won’t accomplish “x” or have “y” in the way you dream of?

No. Not true. I just Don’t Know. That’s all.

How do you react when you believe something will never happen that you’d like to have happen?

How do you react when you think that Not Knowing whether it will happen or not is somehow SAD?

I demand to KNOW.

I think knowing what’s going on is better than not knowing. I don’t like all this open space.

I have visions of saying “I quit!” to the universe. Shaking my fist at the ceiling.

I believe that what’s happening is chaotic, too much, not right and disappointing. I’m pissy.

But who would you be without the thought that what you are hoping for, what you want, what you envision will never get done, you will never get there, it will never happen?

Wow.

I’d take another step.

In the story of the Hobbit there was discouragement, disappointment, terror, hopelessness….but no one ever sat down in the middle of the road and said “I am not going any farther. I give up. It’s over.”

They definitely thought it. They had their moments.

But without the thought that it will never happen and you will never get what you want, ever….

….this moment becomes fresher, more alive.

Without the belief that I will never get THERE, I feel excited. I look around this room where I sit.

My favorite loose cotton tangerine yoga pants, a cup of herbal tea with honey and milk, seasoned raw zucchini strips just brought by a good friend on the table beside me, a cardboard box cut open across the room on a desk, the sun beaming through window slats and making all the crumbs under the dining room table glow.

This moment.

“As human beings, not only do we seek resolution, but we also feel that we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve resolution, we suffer from resolution. We don’t deserve resolution; we deserve something better than that. We deserve our birthright, which is the middle way, an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity.” ~ Pema Chodron

Could it be that this place of not knowing, of not having an answer, of seeing what I want and yet feeling ambiguity, failure, striving, possible loss…

…could it be that this here now is the most wonderful place of all?

What if never getting there and never having it get done is fine, OK….even good, advantageous, perfect for me right now.

How exciting! Joy can be here, now….without whatever it is getting “done”.

With much love,

Grace

P.S. Eating Peace will begin January 15th! This is for people tormented by a binge-purge or compulsive eating cycle, negative self-criticism, bulimia, fear and anger towards their relationship with food.

Since this is the first trial of this class, with the wisdom I’ve learned from several teachers brought in who offer healing on this topic, I offer it for $395 but encourage anyone to ask for sliding scale help if you need it and are drawn.

Only $195 for people who have taken Horrible Food Wonderful Food before.

If you want updates and announcements on this topic be sure to sign up for Eating Peace emails by clicking Update Profile at bottom of this email.