Know less, have no future, eat in peace

Eating Peace: So many of us want a food plan.

Someone tell me what to eat! I can’t do it all by myself, I screw it up by myself, I freak out by myself.

But are you sure you have no capacity to find natural balance with eating?

One thing I’m very glad of when it comes to food and eating is that I never doubted that there was some natural capacity within myself to eat like a normal human being.

We’re all born that way, in fact. We want to eat when we’re hungry. We want to stop when full. We’re in tune with a flow that makes sense; filling and emptying over and over.

To diet or make a food plan or have a huge list of rules and regulations moves you away from living in the present moment….and into the mind and living in the future. Your focus becomes on what you’ll be eating later, what weight you’ll be in x months, or the craving you’ll need to control today.

Often, this attention on the future is so weighted with what you need to do, eat, or measure that it’s very difficult to remain present with physical sensations, eating, taste, fullness, hunger right here, right now.

In my old relationship with food, my practice was to ignore natural hunger, mistrust fullness, worry about hunger and/or fullness in the future, panic about either one, and be entirely suspicious of food.

When I quit trying to apply management to eating, but allow everything about eating to happen with a Don’t Know mind….

….things got much, much easier.

Much love,

Grace

The Good News That Whatever Is Now Is All You Have

lettinggobutterflies
every moment changes

The retreat is over that I’ve been on. Time to go home.

Have you ever felt a melancholy, or sadness, or a sense of wanting something to continue?

Don’t let this change! I want this to stay just the way it is, in this moment, in this experience.

I don’t want to forget this peace.

I want to keep this awareness, joy, openness, learning.

Or, you might have had the experience that you want to keep a person in your life….

I don’t want to break up! I hate getting divorced!

Or, to keep your good fortune….

I want to always keep this pile of money and never ever have it diminish!

Or, to keep your health, your fitness, your youth.

I want my body to be the way it was, I hate this change. 

Wanting to maintain a moment or experience can have a little edge of sadness, angst or worry.

Maybe a big edge. To put it mildly.

I noticed this myself, in tiny moments as this retreat came to a close.

Our group has shared, everyone has connected beautifully, there is a feeling of love and kindness and trust. I have new insight to my experience of being a human being, alive on this planet.

I HAVE TO KEEP THIS FEELING! 

Chuckle.

How do you react when you think you need to keep something?

Even if you still have it, do you notice you feel clingy and grabby?Like you need to milk this for all its worth (as the saying goes)?

If a meaningful or pleasant experience is indeed over….

….do you feel terrible fear, sadness or panic that your future is not as bright?

Who would you be without this thought?

Open to this moment here, right now.

Not only open to it…but accepting of it…resigned to it.

Wow. What a relief.

The turnaround: I do not have to keep any feeling. I have to NOT keep this feeling. It is not possible to keep any feeling. I have to let go of this feeling. 

No “I” is keeping or releasing anything.

Ha ha ha!

“We forget that there is no future, there is no peace later. Whatever is arising in the now is all I have.” ~ Ross Oldenstadt

Much love,
Grace

True Relief In Changing Absolutely Nothing

Only three more spots in the mini retreat this coming weekend. If you want to go from beginning to end investigating one personal dilemma, problem, person, situation, or pattern in your life that causes upset….

….and learn how to facilitate someone through the process as well….

….we’ll go from beginning to end in four hours. Four CEUs for mental health professionals. 1:30-5:30 on Saturday 5/3.

Write grace@workwithgrace.com with questions or to register.

**********

I’ve been teaching the Money teleclass again lately.

I love bringing the awareness of supply to the forefront again, like every time I do the money class.

Looking at money, and what it symbolizes, means, represents.

All the stories, so fantastic, so thoroughly fascinating.

Seeing what you *think* will give you support, time, relaxation or freedom in your life is truly exciting.

Throughout human history, people have had complex and confusing ideas….but very common ones….about what they need in order to have support, security, or freedom.

Money, a boyfriend, a wife, a lover, youth, good parents, a different partner, a guru, a teacher, a method, a meditation retreat, enlightenment, a different mind (we went over that yesterday), a fair divorce, health, weight loss, beauty.

One of my favorite questions that Byron Katie asks is “what would you have, if you had what you think you need in order to be happy?”

So what would you have, if your partner quit smoking? What would you have, if you got married? What would you have, if you won the lottery? What would you have, if you no longer had cancer?

Often we’re just sure we’d have it better. Life would be easier, safer, more interesting, more loving.

I always thought having more money would make life easier.

You pick the thing you want to investigate with me right now…that thing that if it changed, and you got MORE or LESS of it….

….you’d be rockin’ the casbah in no time.

Well….first off….is it true that if you got more (or less) of it that you’d be happy?

Yes. If I won the billion dollar lottery, I’d be jumping up and down, I’d never have to worry again, I’d get so excited to share it, I’d be free to move forward on x, y, z.

Yes. If I had a husband who was a competitive athlete I’d have more health and fitness, and therefore happiness, in my life.

Yes. If I had all the time in the world for retreats I’d be zoning out on bliss and clarity at all times.

Yes. A client of mine said if she didn’t have cancer, all the fear, pain and danger in her day-to-day activities would dissolve.

Yes. Another client said if he go that new promotion, he’d jump for joy.

But can you absolutely know that its true?

I once heard Adyashanti talking about the way we get a nice new car and its awesome for about two weeks. Or less.

Or a new lover. Pretty exciting for some amount of time. Then we find faults. The relationship isn’t giving us what we anticipated or hoped for.

So we start to look for something different, something else. Not quite there yet.

No. I really can’t know its true that if I got what I think I want, I’d be totally and completely satisfied and happy.

But who would you be without the thought that having a bunch of money, or attention, or fame, or love from a person….

….or a bunch less sickness, mental analysis, boredom, work….

….would give you real happiness?

Wow, it’s astonishing.

Without the story that you need anything, in order to be happy, a very strange and exquisite emptiness is felt. Like a big question mark. A very quiet but powerful silence. Everything slows down.

Nothing, absolutely nothing (including the right spiritual message) could give me happiness, that I don’t already have?

You mean I’m not lacking something? Or in need?

I don’t need to have a back-up plan, or save something in reserves for a rainy day? Or keep hunting, endlessly, for my true love, or my true teacher, or the right answer, or enlightenment?

Ha ha!

Without the thought that I need even a drop of something to gain or achieve something better….

….laughter wells up from underneath somewhere, behind and below and all around.

Turning the thought around: I don’t need that thing in order to be happy. Maybe that thing (or person) needs more of me. Maybe I need more of myself, more awareness of what is here.

Well, I sure notice that what I always needed was more of myself, not money, love or security (etc). I kept looking at myself like I was just a mind, thinking thinking thinking.

But we are all so much more than what we *think*.

What does your pinky toe say about this effort to find awareness, enlightenment, money, truth, or health?

Pinky Toe is very happy, already. It doesn’t even “get” trying to find enlightenment or a lover or extra cash.

Phew. Nothing more to do. Nothing to find or get. Nothing to acquire.

You already know that stopping, and resting, is just what the doctor ordered. Sweet, magnificent rest.

“When your image of the me takes a break, you’ll find all you are doing at that moment is just being open. You feel quite relieved that you are not trying to get to another moment or a better experience. You feel yourself just being in a very relaxed, easy sense of peace. You haven’t gained anything at all–you’re not smarter, you don’t necessarily know more than anyone else, and you haven’t suddenly become holy.” ~ Adyashanti

Much love, Grace