This morning I had one of those smooth, no-hitch, right-on-time kind of stretches of moving here and there and accomplishing all kinds of things that has lasted, mostly, for about nine hours.
I am rocking with the completion of administrative duties and happy action!
Super early client, other clients scheduled, son to doctor, eye-glass prescription handled, kitchen fully cleaned, broken cell phone replaced, excellent gym workout including arms, iphone calendar updated and synced, green smoothie, reply emails done, photo copies for Breitenbush event completed, forms filled out, envelopes stuffed, flyer completed and sent to printer, teleclass….
….I won’t go on. But you get the idea! I’m rockin’ the house! Tasks done! Action Action Action! Hiya! I got the Powah!
So much fun.
But then…the mind looks out at the rest of the world and begins to find a few things wanting. A few things at fault, not quite right.
There are some other people who are NOT accomplishing as much as MOI!
Those other people are somehow slower, not aware, not the same as I am, they don’t care, and they don’t appear to be finding my way of doing things interesting.
They may not even be noticing my fabulous way of doing things.
All was fine…until the thought that person should git up off their hiney and go faster!
The other day I had a wonderful inquirer sharing her stressful thoughts about her partner. He was out playing golf, and had been saying he would clean out the garage for months.
She was not pleased.
Oh boy. I happen to know this stressful way of thinking.
- the kids should notice the dishes need to be cleaned, and do them
- everyone else should see that the carpet needs vacuuming, and vacuum of course
- I should never have to ask anyone to tidy up
- my spouse says he will do something, but I do not see it being done!
- he’s lazy
- she’s too distracted
- that person should understand how much better it is to GET THINGS DONE
- work first, play later
There are many visions of how it works best. Speed, clarity, energy, ticking off the list, power, peak performance, efficiency, discipline!
But I will never forget once, sitting in a meditation retreat, when a dear fellow-participant spoke with great pain in her voice describing her feeling of depression, not wanting to move, low energy, listlessness, and discouragement about being overweight.
The very dear and wise meditation teacher asked her if she could simply be, in this apparent state in the present moment, without needing to change it….
….no need to make it faster, better, different.
At Breitenbush these past five days, our group returned again and again to imagining what it would be like to be without the thought that the body needed to change.
No pressure, no pushing, no forcing, no condemnation for the current condition.
But other people should feel as awesome and psyched about running around handling the basic logistics of life as I am!
If they don’t think they need to change, they won’t, and things will stay the same, and life will be non-productive!
They should be energizer bunnies, like I have been today!
Whole books are written on this idea. They list all the things humans *should* do to make themselves powerful and successful.
If you don’t match that picture, it can be really disappointing and discouraging, and feel impossible.
But who would you be without the thought that there is someone, THAT person (you know the one I’m talkin’ about) who really should be doing things faster, or more efficiently?
I notice the second I ask myself this question, I am very simply back to me, enjoying myself and whatever energy comes out of this particular body…..which by the way, I can’t actually say has all that much to do with me.
I can’t honestly say that I am forcing myself, or making myself, or planning, or pushing or expecting. I actually had no plans for this day to go this way. I didn’t even have a to-do list written.
This energy and efficiency feels like it is not from me, or about me. If I stop labeling things “good” and “bad”…then how could I possibly know that moving slower isn’t just as fabulous?
What if the turnarounds are as true, or truer?
- the kids should NOT notice the dishes need to be cleaned, unless they do. I notice I absolutely LOVE to clean the kitchen.
- no one else should see that the carpet needs vacuuming, and do it, because it is so dang fun for me to see the before-and-after…I am amazed by vacuums
- I should not have to ask myself to tidy up, like it’s a bad thing. I notice that without my mind getting involved, I love the simplicity of tidying up, and the easiness of it, and I don’t “have to” ask myself to do it.
- I say I will do something all the time, and do not see it instantly being done….so I guess that is apparently the way of it.
- my own thinking is lazy….it’s spending time looking at other people and evaluating their laziness
- I am too distracted….I love simply watching where this body goes, without my mind driving everything—oh look, “it” is cleaning the toilet, how interesting. What will she (it) do next?
- I should understand how much better it is FOR ME to get things done, it brings such joy to me
- work is play, play is work…one is not better than the other. I have spent many hours in my life loving the movement of “working” on something, there is no need to create order or boss myself or others
“One day in 1986, after The Work was alive in me, I realized that it simply wasn’t true that my children should pick up their socks. I saw that I was the one who should pick up the socks if I wanted them picked up. My children were perfectly happy with their socks on the floor. Who had the problem? It was me. It was my thoughts about the socks on the floor that had made my life difficult, not the socks themselves. And who had the solution? Again, me. I realized that I could be right, or I could be free. It took just a few moments for me to pick up the socks, without any thought of my children. And an amazing thing began to happen. I realized that I loved picking up their socks. It was for me, not for them. It stopped being a chore in that moment, and it became a pleasure to pick them up and see the uncluttered floor. Eventually, they noticed my pleasure and began to pick up their socks on their own, without my having to say anything. I have had 21 years of sock-free floors (and my children tell me that they have too).” ~ Byron Katie
I did what was next in front of me today, and the way unfolded before me with a lot of ease and delight.
Tomorrow perhaps there will be a slower pace, a traffic jam, a broken printer, a way things move where achievement of a task is not possible…and that will be interesting too.
Relaxing completely, without being “right” that others should copy my way of doing things, or that today was a “good” day by comparison.
Can I see today that success, efficiency, accomplishment, and joy can also come alive in someone who is very still, who is resting, who has no need to be in action?
Yes.
“Practice not-doing, and everything will fall into place.” ~ Tao Te Ching #3
Love, Grace
- Earning Money: What’s Your Problem? Questioning Your Beliefs About Money, Work and Business. Thursdays, July 11 – August 29, 2013, 5:15 – 6:45 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks $395. Register Here.
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