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The other evening on skype, working with a dear client in another time zone 8 hours away, she said she ran into someone from her past in a crowded theater.
She felt panic! She wanted to leave the show at intermission!
It reminded me of going to a show myself some time ago, and having the THOUGHT that I could run into a certain individual from my past at that very show.
With a small shot of adrenaline zapping through my system, I had scanned the audience when her face entered my mind.
Oh dear, she attends shows like this….she could be here! How will I act if she’s here!?
Fortunately, I chuckled at my mind coming up with ideas like this, as it seems to do.
I already knew that running into that person would be fantastic.
The emotional experience might be uncomfortable, because of my own beliefs about her thoughts about me, and the misunderstandings that occurred in our relationship, and my imagination that something went wrong between us.
But it would offer a shift, a new opportunity.
So even in the thought about running into that person, there was a tiny shift, and a new opportunity.
Who would you be afraid to run into out in the world?
What if you even imagined running into someone you know who has died, maybe long ago?
Perhaps you turn the corner in a big city and BOOM there they are. Perhaps you notice them in a moving car when you’re driving. Or in a restaurant or grocery store.
Strange how the world moves, and you are in the same dimension, same place, same time (apparently) as that one person who brings up a lot of emotion.
Byron Katie speaks of these sometimes stunning coincidences as beautiful opportunities to connect with the truth for yourself…and perhaps to make amends.
In the dictionary, “amends” is defined as altering, modifying, rephrasing….compensating for injury or loss.
So this dear woman was speaking of seeing a former boss of hers in the crowded theater, and feeling fear. She didn’t approach him or talk with him.
But she hadn’t thought of him in ages, and just seeing him brought forth troubling memories.
Whether in the flesh or only in our minds, the pictures and the feelings can be vivid.
And I speak from experience….you can face the person, whether the person is there or not, whether they are alive or not.
Sometimes, imagining the person is the best place to start. Doing it there, internally from within, with all your heart and soul exposed to yourself, can feel safer.
Just safe enough to bring it into greater clarity.
Making amends doesn’t mean scampering off to apologize and hoping to receive favor from that person who is upset with you.
Making amends doesn’t mean pushing yourself beyond what feels deeply right for you.
You may know that it is most peaceful and loving to make NO contact with that person.
But you can still make peace with that situation, that person, within your heart and mind. In fact, starting with yourself is the most wonderful place.
You sit down and write out your most difficult, excruciating, sad, angry, frustrated thoughts and feelings. On paper.
Then have someone ask you the Four Questions.
You may be closer to feeling the joy of amends or forgiveness than you realized.
You may find that the feeling of fear that courses through you when you run into someone coincidentally without plans is really just excitement, love, joy, adventure.
Even if you feel nauseated, you may know that you are recovering from a deep sickness of looking at this person in a twisted way, a hateful or unforgiving way.
“Go somewhere where its really quiet, and get very still. With your eyes closed, imagine [that person] sitting across from you and do it…get it done, from that inside place of you. And then to make it right, just live it out with the rest of us…with other men in your life, and women and cats and dogs and trees.”~Byron Katie
You do not ever “have to” make amends to someone.
In fact, if you feel like this is a “have to” then it probably isn’t time.
The universe will arrange the right place and the right time. If you run into someone out there, and you feel fear or trepidation, or sadness….
…then you know its because you can handle it.
Much love, Grace
P.S. Stay tuned for additional upcoming information about the One Year program starting in June. A fabulous, in-depth, comprehensive way to question your reality with like-minded people on the journey, addressing all the people and situations we’ve ever been afraid of.