Are You Pretending It’s True When It Isn’t?

I’ve been deeply engrossed in the Eating Peace Program I’m putting together, week to week making a new presentation for the participants which is a lecture, not a live self-inquiry session.

It’s so very different…I read, collect information from the notes I’ve taken over the years. My researcher mind is working, and in the flow.

I notice, I’m excited. I love this!

Something I’m presenting this very morning in a few hours in this program is an idea so juicy, I wanted to share it with you, too.

It’s the idea that we are imagination machines.

We are almost made to invent stories, create tales and meaning, build something out of nothing.

Peter Ralston, author of The Book of Not Knowing (a huge fat book of writing all about Not Knowing, how hilarious is that?) suggests to look at how we play when we are not yet grown up.

Look at kittens.

They play mock fighting, hunting, killing games, pouncing on things and each other.

Look at us when we’re children.

We make stuff up constantly in play.

We’re having tea parties with stuffed animals, we’re protecting the house from aliens, we’re running away from the witch who lives next door, spying on the odd creatures a few years older than us (our siblings and their friends), listening with rapt attention to adults read fairy tales.

When I was young, with another family who was very close (our parents all bought vacation property together) we had a band of seven kids. We always pretended we were full brothers and sisters, all related to each other.

And we were orphans.

We lived in the woods in an old hut, on berries (we picked buckets of delicious blackberries) and “survived” happily, lying down when it was “night” until someone would say “it’s morning!” We ran for hours in the woods and tall grasses, got water by the river, brought snacks from the “real” kitchen cupboard, pretending we had acquired it from our rigorous hunting.

We played make-believe.

And we knew when the game was over and we heard the big gong ringing that meant time for dinner back in the real cabin.

But as we grow and grow, and have more and more experiences, we put the meaning we’ve gathered from experience so far, or that we’ve heard about somewhere and pictured, and put it on what’s happening now.

It’s like playing make-believe but forgetting we’re playing make-believe!

Except it might not be as difficult as you think to find out what’s making you suffer in your own mind.

Here’s a really simple and easy exercise you can do, that helps you access what you’re believing.

Get your pen and paper and answer the following prompt:

This situation is full of turmoil, and it means that…..

What do you think will happen in this story, that you don’t like? What have you heard of happening that sounds awful?

There.

Right then, you have what may be a vivid picture, in your imagination, of a frightening scenario.

Now you can study it. You can investigate. Inquire with the four questions.

Maybe even make friends with it.

You may find it’s not as bad as you think. You may find it’s not actually even true. It’s not happening. You are safe. You are loved. You are surviving. You are beautiful. You are cared for.

Just like when I was a child and I always knew I was not really an orphan. I was just having fun pretending I was.

Are you pretending?

“First, we can train in letting our story lines go. Slow down enough to just be present, let go of the multitude of judgments and schemes, and stop struggling…Whether we regard our situation as heaven or as hell depends on our perception.” ~ Pema Chodron

Much love, Grace