I was looking at someone close to me during a class. He was looking forward at the teacher who was lecturing. I was staring with fascination at the belt around his waste which looked squeezed, with his shirt tightening with strain on either side of his stomach.
I had the thought that his stomach was too fat. Or his shirt was too small. And that he should un-tuck his shirt.
And then the thought that I shouldn’t be so rude as to think that thought.
In the current new Eating Peace class, we’ve taken a good look at our bodies by looking in the mirror.
And then there are Other Bodies, too.
Those bodies, the ones that look like THAT (fill in your own image) are beautiful, perfect, exciting, interesting, or attractive.
These other bodies, the ones that look NOT so perfect (fill in your other images like the one I had in my mind) are anywhere from slightly unappealing to repulsive.
Lumpy/Smooth, Thick/Narrow, Tight/Loose, Saggy/Firm, Wrinkled/Flat, Fat/Thin.
I should control my judgmental thoughts about those other peoples’ bodies! And while we’re at it, I should also love my own body!
Major Dismal Failure at NOT judging.
So there I was, a teenager, seeing the world and it was jam-packed with images of other bodies.
It was so quick, I could easily tell you what was beautiful and ugly in one-half of a second.
I KNEW UGLY AND I KNEW ATTRACTIVE.
I was learning, or had learned, VERY quickly, very young. As soon as I could hear what adults were saying around me. As soon as I could see what people were drawn to, and how they behaved, and who they rejected or praised.
It was in the movies and on TV.
I KNEW already at the age of 8 that when I sat on a table one day, and my thighs spread out in a squished way with my legs hanging over the edge of the desk.
I was shocked at the time.
“I have fat thighs?! I did not realize this! Terrible! They are ugly!”
“100 percent of your misery is brought on by your dishonest, unconscious thinking. That’s what a lie feels like….if you think you’re too fat, it’s not about your body, it’s about your mind. It’s about imagination running wild…The mind doesn’t have the question IS IT TRUE? to stop it, so that it can reconsider, so that it can bring itself to sanity. Sanity is a word I equate with love, with intelligence and maturity. An immature mind, is a mind that hates itself.” ~Byron Katie
I’ve had the thought that someone was too fat. That person should lose weight. They should exercise. Something is wrong with how they are taking in food.
Plus, another person I love I thought of as waaaaaaaay too focused on the body (and it wasn’t me).
She should get off this whole get-the-body-perfect thing. What a waste of energy, time, resources, focus! Jeez!
Can you call up an image of someone you know who is “fat” and who you think shouldn’t be?
Let’s do The Work.
Is it true that they would be better off thinner? Is it true they are actually FAT?
Is it true that they represent everything that fatness means?
Undisciplined, lazy, unhealthy, scared, angry, pudgy, needy, unhappy, self-centered, or don’t love themselves?
Are they really unattractive? Do people reject them, are they lonely? Are they less than spiritual, or unconscious?
Really?
No. It’s actually not true. At all.
What is really the problem with anyone in this world being fat?
I’ve noticed that the world, the universe, Reality actually contains bodies which are of all different qualities. The variety is enormous, in fact, and actually infinite.
I notice that without the thought that anyone’s Body should be different than the way it actually appears in this moment, then the creativity and variety is magnificent.
All these bodies everywhere being themselves….
Back (once again) to leaving everything alone.
What was too fat, was my thinking. When I think someone else is too fat, or anything about me is too fat…..my thinking is slow, full, repetitive, thick, heavy, extra, big, dark, overflowing, wide, depressing.
Fortunately, my thinking is not ME.
Just like my body isn’t ME.
“God, or your essential nature, is not Something. Not Content. Not Form. The best description with words is to say what it is NOT….It can be known in the silent space of stillness which is in everyone…”~ Eckhart Tolle
What if you walked around today, or sat around, or maybe the body you appear to have is lying around…what if you were here and entirely and completely without the thought that what your body looks like or represents IS you?
What if you are much more than that. Or not even that, at all.
Love, Grace
P.S. The Horrible Food Wonderful Food weekend is approaching in April 4-6, Friday evening through Sunday 5 pm. We’ll be looking at what we think about our bodies. Reply back if you’re interested and I’ll keep you up to date.