Dalai Lama – The Work of Byron Katie with Grace

happyhearts So many questions about the Desire virtual class starting Thursday.

You may find answers by clicking right HERE.

In a nutshell, each class you will log-in (and dial-in using your phone or skype) to a webinar and follow along in exercises geared entirely towards:

a) identifying what you’re lacking in important areas of your life

b) noticing what does work in these areas, even if very small

c) burning your stressful beliefs by questioning them

d) naming and claiming your own personal core desired feelings–the living turnarounds–in these same areas you care about the most

I’ve loved doing this work myself and found it sooooo affirming.

Ready to sign up now? [rps-paypal]

I’ve identified what I really thought I wanted, what felt desirable, in many areas of my life.

I’ve wondered openly what I would have, if I attained my greatest desire.

In the end, it’s usually some kind of feeling….safety, happiness, excitement, ease.

What is it you desire? What do you think you’d have, if you got it?

Are you sure you can’t feel this now, in the present….without attaining that great desire, that condition, that person, that object?

We’ll question our stressful stories around moving towards what we think we want. We’ll do this together in the class, I’ll guide you through.

After doing this work (combining the Work of Byron Katie and desire mapping and exploring feelings) I’ve landed….for now….on my own core desired feelings:

Amazon, Luxurious, Mystic, Serenity

Just saying these words feels creative, delicious, and like powerful medicine personal to my path.

As I do The Work of Byron Katie, when I arrive in the turnarounds, the opposites to my stressful thoughts (the last step in The Work) I can call in these feelings, these words, and imagine how I would live if I felt these feelings.

Some examples.

I notice I desire time, insight, being of service, and freedom from dread—instead, joy.

So what do I perceive is NOT working when it comes to time, insight, being of service and freedom from dread?

Well! Glad you asked!

Time: I don’t have enough.

Insight: I need more time with my teachers and books.

Being of service: I could reach more people.

Freedom from dread: Life seems like more fun without dreading something in the future (ha ha!)

I start with the one on top of the list: I NEED MORE TIME.

I get a good solid sense of a situation in which I believed this to be very true.

Yah, I got it. Yesterday when I had to pick up my kid unexpectedly right in the middle of rush hour traffic, right in the middle of recording my podcast.

I need more time!!

I take this situation through inquiry.

Is it true that I need more time?

Yes Yes Yes.

Absolutely?

Uhm. Well. No.

How do I react when I believe I need more time?

Frustrated, tight, clenched, small.

Who would you be without the belief you need more time?

Wow, in that moment? Hmmmm.

I’d be freely moving from microphone, into car holding keys, wearing my cute slippers, heading out to the school. Break time. Time to talk with my kid. Listening to 3 messages from one of closest friends in the world. Breathing deeply. Relaxed.

Turning the thought around: I do NOT need more time. I have ENOUGH time.

Can I find real examples, genuine examples, of how this could be just as true…..or truer?

Well….one of the most important things in my life are my kids and spending time with them, and that’s what I get to do when I pick her up. It doesn’t even have to be long, it only takes 20 minutes door-to-school-to-door.

I also notice I’m not dying today (I know that’s dramatic, but its an example)!

I also have enough time because I am not a special case–I get just the right amount of time for me–not unlike many other humans.

I have enough time to buy groceries, get gas, work out at the gym, read books, write these Grace Notes, work with clients, create classes, facilitate retreats, do interviews, record podcasts, watch Birdman last week (won best picture), work with deeply important spiritual teachers, go out to lunch with a colleague, and meditate.

And that’s only starters.

What if I felt amazon, luxurious, mystic and serenity when it comes to time?

Ha ha! *AWESOME!*

Waaaaaaayyyyy different than powerless, scarce, tiny and frustrated.

Nice turnaround to live, these beautiful feelings I identified for myself.

You can do this too.

You can zone in on the unique feelings you celebrate, honor and love to experience when you turn your stressful thoughts around.

Come find out how on Thursday….join us!

If you can’t because you’re in an alternate time zone, or you’re scheduled, don’t worry.

This means its not right for right now.

You can follow the process I just outlined and find your core desired feelings, and your stressful beliefs about why you can’t get there, and take your beliefs to inquiry using the four questions.

I know you can do it.

“I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering. Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affect this. From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment. I don’t know whether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves. Therefore, it is important to discover what will bring about the greatest degree of happiness.” ~ Dalai Lama

Love, Grace

joie_de_vivre — celebrate the wonder of desire

I have had so many questions about my little P.S. a couple of days ago in my Grace Note on Desire and The Work of Byron Katie (and yes, it’ll be a teleclass).

It seems to have struck a chord.

Desire is an amazing feeling when you feel alive, full of integrity, passionate, happy, full of zest and zip, committed, fascinated, following the breadcrumbs through the woods!

Joie de vivre!!

Desire can show up with a deep sincerity in spiritual practice, the spark you have for clarity and connection, the wonder to awaken.

But we really do get weird about desire….at least I sure did.

Stop it! Hold it back! It can get you into trouble!

You need to keep your head on straight!

Sometimes true.

There is the foolish human story of someone following their passion and rushing at a windmill, like Don Quixote.

Or the tragic human story of crimes of passion when someone murders their partner, and commits suicide.

What about desire for drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, something sexual, money.

Turning against desire, when following it led to hurt and pain, appears to be one strategy in this human dilemma.

I just won’t go there.

For me, this may offer some stability in a roller coaster of emotion, or relief when you stop hunting down and trying to grab….

….but it wasn’t really freedom.

How can we experience the joy of desire and moving towards what we love, celebrating whatever happens along the way?

Guest what my answer is.

Yah. That’s right.

Inquiry.

It’s all about the stress, ’bout the stress and trouble.

Here’s what I mean.

When you feel desire for something, for a change, for a situation, for an experience, for money, for a person….

….first, allow it to be there.

Why do you want that?

Instead of simply rushing towards it with your lance, riding your horse and wearing a helmet….pause.

What would you have, if you had that thing, person, situation?

I’d be secure! I’d be happy! I’d be free! Life would be easy! I’d be successful! I’d be proud! I’d be at peace! I’d be there!

Are you absolutely SURE you need that thing in order to have what you think you’d have?

As Byron Katie suggests….could you skip the middle man, and have that feeling RIGHT NOW?

Woah.

Have my desired feeling NOW?

You mean….feel peace, joy, happiness, freedom, ease, success, pride, or security….now?

I noticed, this is what began to happen as I did The Work and entered the turnarounds.

I did not need that thing or person or experience or situation to be the way I thought it should be in order to be happy.

And have you noticed what can happen when you discover the feeling you wanted all along is possible right now, here, in this situation, in this moment (without your demands for it to be different)?

You want to get up and dance.

Or bawl your eyes out.

Or express, share, celebrate, jump, rest, care, hug, honor, be very quiet in amazement.

“Perhaps your hunger to belong is always active and intense because you belonged so totally before you came here. This hunger to belong is the echo and reverberation of your invisible heritage. You are from somewhere else, where you were known, embraced and sheltered. This is also the secret root from which all longing grows. Something in you knows, perhaps remembers, that eternal belonging liberates longing into its surest and most potent creativity. This is why your longing is often wiser than your conventional sense of appropriateness, safety and truth… Your longing desires to take you towards the absolute realization of all the possibilities that sleep in the clay of your heart; it knows your eternal potential, and it will not rest until it is awakened.” ~ John O’Donohue

Today, I love my hunger (most of the time) and bump up against too much intensity in desire, or out-of-integrity desire in far less degrees than I once experienced.

No more damage to myself, no more violence.

Without stress, I notice desire present in unfettered freedom. Ready to sing, or make a cup of tea, or fall into bed after a great day’s work.

“For the thirst to possess your love,
Is worth my blood a hundred times.” ~ Rumi

If you’d love to learn to live your turnarounds, feel your core desired feelings, then join me on a six week journey into new territory combining The Work and Desire.

We’ll start with what we complain about.

And what isn’t working in our lives in our opinion.

We’ll look at when we don’t feel generous, or we feel fearful.

We’ll take these to inquiry.

We’ll sit with the turnarounds and use our imagination to spend time there, and ask ourselves….

….if I lived with my deepest desire without terror….

….if I lived my turnaround with abandon….

….what would that look like?

What would I do, say, think, feel, be?

Can’t wait to follow this adventure into dissolving painful beliefs, and celebrating desire.

We’ll meet Thursdays 8:30-10 am Pacific Time for 6 weeks starting April 2nd.

“The point of life is happiness.” ~ The Dalai Lama

Love, Grace

Tag: Dalai Lama

The Purpose of Life Is Happiness

Living Your Turnarounds Feels……Fabulous. Here’s How.