Are You Sure There’s No Light, It’s Too Much?

sunrise_1024Sometimes several “incidents” happen around the same time, and by themselves perhaps each one would be manageable, but all together the anxiety provoked creates….well….

….Mass Anxiety.

My kid is in Geometry tutoring. For the first time in her life, I hear her say things like this:

“OMG, I get what Mr. Teacher was saying in Algebra last year….WOW, I’m going to know Geometry better than most of my friends….Mom, my junior year is going to be awesome.”

We add up the tutoring bill and discover funding for it is not possible the way we planned. We’re switching summer education plans as of today. She’s very upset.

Then….my hamstring injury starts hurting again for what seems like no apparent reason. I didn’t even push it too hard, I’ve been taking it easy. I finally take pain relievers, and nothing happens. I take two more. Barely touches it. Back hurts, neck hurts, achilles hurts, foot hurts. All on the right side. That right side is seriously a *$*%@ problem.

Three clients all report that even though they’ve been in The Work for awhile, catching their thoughts and questioning them, they felt like sh*t this weekend.

A few more inquirers who read Grace Notes write to me and say the same thing.

“My life is too overwhelming, my thoughts are too overwhelming, I can’t find solid ground…..maybe inquiry doesn’t work.”

Two really, really good close friends of mine get surprise shocking news about someone they love and they feel slammed to the ground, crushed by the universe, and very, very sad.

My communications with others, even brand new friends, seem like there’s not enough time, or something was off or confusing. She thought I was free all morning (but I was only free an hour). He thought I was calling him before the end of the day and I thought he was calling me. I blanked out completely on my Sunday morning session with a client.

Shut down everything! I QUIT! I GIVE UP! FORGET IT!

These events all float through the mind and feelings close in like walls coming closer and closer, squeezing and suffocating you practically to death.

Well….that may be a little dramatic, but sometimes not really.

Yesterday a group got together on the phone, a follow up call for everyone who attended the Breitenbush retreat last month.

We found an underlying thought to question: it is too much.

Whether it’s mind, my thinking, my negativity, that person, my loss, this challenge, her personality, my job, this problem….it’s simply too much.

Let’s take a look.

Hold all those bubbles of people, issues, scenes, situations, dilemmas, concerns in your mind. It doesn’t matter which ones. It may look like a fog bank, the weight of the world, blackness.

How do you react when you believe it’s too much?

Hopeless, shut down, screaming inside, full of rage, like crying and crying. Can’t take it anymore.

One big NO.

Sleepless hours, perseverating, analyzing….doomed feelings.

Pause. Deep breath.

Who would you be without the belief that it’s too much? Look around your environment. Start where you are right now.

Alive and breathing–check.

Heart beating–check.

Ground beneath my feet–check.

Bed to lie in, chair to sit on–check.

Something different here, besides all the thoughts and emotions colliding together in chaos.

A stillness. Can you feel it? Can you slow down enough to give yourself this peace, just for a second?

Can you notice how life is pulsing here, no matter how terrible your mind thinks it is?

“Instead of going through your life reacting to the content of your life…become aware of the now, beyond the phenomena that arises in it. What does that mean, to become aware of the now itself? You become aware of an undercurrent of stillness in which everything happens. You sense it. Even that’s not quite correct…. You realize that you ARE it. And then it’s so easy once you realize you are that deep undercurrent of stillness. The world is no longer problematic. That moment you know yourself to be that, whatever content is here, including the story of “me”, is no longer problematic.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Turn the thought around: I am too much, not “it” and all the situations, people, conversations, mistakes, things that were off, problems, events.

My thinking is taking it very seriously. My thoughts are overwhelming.

And I am more than all my thinking combined…..one thousand billion trillion times more…I am far too much for this minute problem, I am beyond mental noise and fears, I am quiet, I am love.

Could that be just as true, or truer?

“Let your self be one with something beyond it….I could see peace instead of this….there is nothing to fear.” ~ A Course In Miracles

Much love, Grace

That Person Who Hurt You–Choose Suffering or Peace

Today my retreat comes to an end, although I won’t be home for another 2 or 3 days.

I still get to connect with several friends, spend the night again in Ashland, Oregon on the way north, and be in a quiet car enjoying my thoughts as I drive back to Sea-Town.

And there will be many thoughts…that’s for sure.

That’s been what it’s like so far through life.

But there’s also something else, and this is phenomenally important if you want peace.

Noticing that thinking is not you.

On our last night of retreat, our little group elected to watch Oprah interview the fantastic and inspiring Michael Singer.

If you’ve been around Grace Notes for awhile, I put in quotes by Michael regularly.

Watching him on video, I was inspired all over again. There are many reasons, but one of them is that he has a juicy, tough, difficult, painful betrayal story.

He was falsely accused of a crime.

And yet…it was not painful at all.

He used it as an opportunity to grow, to lose the pieces of him that did not really matter, the ego-centered fearful pieces, the ones afraid of the future.

Many of us have experienced what we call betrayal.

Sometimes, like in Shakespearean drama, people set up and scheme whole manipulated stories in order to hurt others, win, get even, get revenge.

People tell secrets, start rumors that aren’t true, hurt other people, lie, steal, cheat, or sometimes even kill other people.

I had a dear friend once accuse me of faking that I don’t have a master’s degree, and telling other people behind my back instead of coming to me directly.

It was one of the weirdest experiences I have ever known. I sent her a copy of my degree.

But why would she do that?

Doesn’t the mind sooooo want to figure that out. Why? What’d I do? What’s wrong with her? How could she have ever assumed such a weird thing? Did I miss something? Was she mentally ill? Did she distort some part of my graduation history?

I need to understand that painful situation, I need to know why.

Is that true?

Wow. No.

Why do I need to get involved? Do I want peace, or drama in my life?

Peace.

How do I react when I believe I need to understand, resolve, settle that situation? When I believe I need to get why it happened?

Analyzing, rehashing, puzzled, confused, uncomfortable, sad, disappointed, shocked.

But who would I be without the belief that I need to understand that difficult experience, or the why, where, how, who, what-for of any of it?

“The prerequisite to true freedom is to decide that you do not want to suffer anymore. You must decide that you want to enjoy your life and that there is no reason for stress, inner pain, or fear.” ~ Michael Singer

Without the thought that I need to THINK and resolve this betrayal problem, or defend, or prove something….I rest in awareness where there are no big reactions.

I can observe from the silence that sees everything, the wide open space.

I turn the thought around: I do not need to understand that situation, I do not need to know why.

This is truer. I do not need to defend myself, or be passive either. I can take all the appropriate measures to be clear and kind and powerful.

From this crystal clear place, without suffering, I notice great compassion for those who commit crimes, who make big mistakes, who perpetrate damage or difficulty for others.

They are doing the best they can.

But most of all, this tough experience is an invitation to take the high road, the road to the higher self full of loving awareness, the place where I need not get hooked, controlled, or hurt by someone else in this world.

If I can be with this, in this kind of situation, I will be free. I will be free from that mind that has to get a handle on everything and figure bad, twisted stuff out. I will be free from the mind that is full of fear.

“It is impossible to be hurt except by your own thoughts.” ~ Course in Miracles 

If you feel hurt by someone….see if you can find inside of you the part that knows you are innocent, and all is well, and there is nothing to fear.
See if you can leave it alone, stop worrying about why it happened, and let everything be the way it is, no complaining.
You’ll be much happier that way. Guaranteed.
Love, Grace

The Futile Search For What You Want

I love getting a bird’s eye view of the story of Something Wanted.

There’s the dreamy thing I want. Mmmm. Fabulous. Can’t wait. Reaching for it. Almost got it.

Or maybe it’s far away, very elusive, in the distant future. Frustrated, never getting there. Been trying for years.

People feel this way about finding a mate, success in their career, money, achieving enlightenment.

Not quite having it, or not having it for a very long time….both could generate a little stress.

Or become very aggravating.

But getting that broad, expansive, all-inclusive view from a higher altitude where you can see the whole landscape, can be a great relief.

Doing The Work is a way to get that view.

Is it true that I want it?

Is it true that I don’t have it yet? What do I want it for, anyway? Why do I imagine that I don’t have this thing? What terrible thing will happen if I never get it?

The mind is very interested in these questions.

It is very interested in the potential failure, the absence of this wanted thing, how to prevent lack of achievement, what should be done next, and how to fix this situation, improve it, or make a plan.

The mind has the vision.

Fabulous partner. One Million Dollars. Applause From Audience. Liberation.

People do all kinds of crazy stuff….well, OK…I myself have done all kinds of crazy stuff in order to GET that desired state in the future.

Spent money. Gone on retreats. Hired specialists.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact everything I’ve ever been drawn to has been a beautiful step or experience in whatever needed to come next.

But without that push, that focused, sometimes grabby, demanding energy that really believes it needs that thing…..who would you be?

“What” would you be, without that thought of the Something Wanted?

“It is the nature of all dreams that the characters therein are so busy being–well, dream characters–that the bigger reality of what lies outside the dream state eludes them……ultimately it is ignorance (the belief in things that are untrue) that imprisons us within a trance state, which is induced by taking the conditioned stream of thinking within one’s mind to be true. If we are to awaken from the mind’s hypnotic embrace, we must question all of our beliefs and assumptions down to the very source of our being until that which is true, real, and everlasting reveals itself.” ~ Adyashanti
Stunning to think of who I would be without that thought. Or that one. Without the thoughts that I want, need or am headed towards something where I’ll have More.
Turning the thought around that there is Something Wanted?
There is NOT anything wanted, in any future.
How could that be true, for me….cosmic as it sounds?
Because I notice right now, I am alive, feeling, being. I have no idea what anything is for. I do not know why anything is the way it is. I never will.
Now that is absolutely hilarious.
There is no need for a mate, more money, enlightenment, success. Because right now this here is enough and beyond enough.
“When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.” ~ Byron Katie 

That means, there is nothing required of you. Can you feel how amazing that is?

“Seek not outside yourself, for all your pain comes simply from a futile search for what you want, insisting where it must be found.” ~ Course In Miracles

If you’re interested in changing your Money Story…a group will begin on Weds 5:15 pm Pacific time to investigate the truth. Your answers only. You get to see who you’d be without your thoughts.

Much love, Grace

 

 

Egos Wanted For Hazardous Journey

While reading recently, I came across a wonderful reprint of a 1913 Help Wanted Ad written by the famous explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton:

MEN WANTED for Hazardous Journey, Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success.

I laughed as I thought of what a Help Wanted ad would look like for the spiritual journey surrendering to What Is:

EGOS WANTED for Hazardous Journey, zero wages, bitter emptiness, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, confusion and discomfort, safe return impossible. Honor and recognition will mean nothing after success. 

Jed McKenna, author of Spiritual Enlightenment The Damndest Thing(and two other great books) says, if we only knew beforehand what it would be like to wake up to reality, we would run the other direction without looking back.

This is from the perspective of the ME, though. The one that wants what it wants when it wants it. The one afraid of death, physical ailments, mean people, earthquakes, starvation, losing.

If I had gotten My Own Way then I would have the powers offered in most fairy tales since the first stories were told: I could snap my fingers and have material objects appear, I could wiggle my nose and put spells on people, I would be able to fly like Wonder Woman.

Most of all, if I ruled the world, there would be no suffering. I have my list of what involves suffering and what causes it, and I would eliminate those things.

However, as Byron Katie says, I don’t get a vote. God did not actually ask for MY opinion on how to run the Universe.

“The ego’s plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that, if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved….The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.”~A Course In Miracles

It is actually, ironically (for the me-centered little self) a great relief, a peace beyond anything I ever imagined, to let go of anything being anyone else’s fault. Inside the center of us all there is an empty beauty, a mysterious, joyful excitement. Happiness.

“The Tao doesn’t take sides; it gives birth to both good and evil. The Master doesn’t take sides; she welcomes both saints and sinners. The Tao is like a bellows: it is empty yet infinitely capable. The more you use it, the more it produces; the more you talk of it, the less you understand. HOLD ON TO THE CENTER”. ~ Tao Te Ching #5

Come join the Hazardous Journey. Let’s face it, you already have. Might as well accept it….it’s more fun that way.

Love, Grace