So my email program appeared AGAIN to be Not Working.
As in, it looked like I communicated with someone, I sent them a response or reply, even got back to them quickly….
….and record of my sending in the SENT files of my email program.
But people were writing back.
Did you get my email? Do you have an answer? Are you able to tell me? Did you send me your link to make payments because I didn’t receive it? Are we on for that date or not? Can I get credit for Year of Inquiry? And finally ‘MOM…did you sign me up for that dance class yet?!’
Working speedy quick….it doesn’t exactly feel smooth to think “no one has received any of my emails for the past ten days”.
Rats. This sucks.
I don’t know who did, who didn’t. Something’s gone wrong. Or will, very soon, because someone else who hasn’t even written yet is waiting for my reply, and I think I’ve already sent one.
Nooooooooooooo.
Computer tech difficulty! Customer service lines where I can’t hear the person due to static or heavy accent! This is terrible! A hassle! On the phone for 2 hours with three different people at Apple and at Hostgator!
I don’t have time for this!
People get this kind of annoyed with traffic, doors squeaking in need of WD40, crane flies brushing their cheek waking them up unexpectedly on a summer night, the baby crying too much, a typo, a spilled cup of coffee, a fly buzzing over and over in the room.
Not matters of life and death. You KNOW it.
And yet, you lose your inner calm because it’s happening.
My perfect version of the world doesn’t look like this! What gives?
(Shake fist at sky. Snap at the dog. Slam the door just a wee bit hard).
I love looking at these quick drive-by moments of stress with The Work. Slow it down. Open to discover something new.
I start with the question: why do I need my emails to get to everyone, anyway? What’s the big deal if they don’t?
This is not an exercise in brushing off what bugs you. This is blowing it up under a microscope so you can see better what the threat actually is for you. And question it.
Why would I want my emails to be received?
Easy. It means people are waiting for me out there. People aren’t signing up for programs or sessions they’re considering. If they don’t get their questions answered, they drop it. If they drop it, I have no clients or participants. If I have no clients or participants, I have no income. If I have no income, I lose my house, my stability, I can’t take care of my kids. If I can’t do any of that….I’m a loser.
Oh, and I’ve disappointed people, so they think so too.
Waaah.
How do I react when I think TIME is precious, people shouldn’t be disappointed, and my communication is crucial for getting paid?
Yikes. Pretty upset when communication gets threatened.
So who would I be without this story that the email thingie has to work, in order for me to be happy, supported, stable financially, and stress-free?
LOL.
Noticing how funny the mind is, taking stuff so dang seriously. Laughing with delight about being a silly human.
Turning the thoughts around:
Losing customers is of benefit, it’s good, it’s interesting. Losing money has advantages. It shows me what’s here, without money being required. I’m safe, I’m supported.
Time is not so precious as I dream up. The present moment, and peace no matter what’s happening, is the most fun precious thing of all. People can be as disappointed and losing interest as they want–I get more time to myself, and less busy-ness. It is not required to have any money. More money is not better. Less money is not worse. Computers working do not dictate my success, or failure. They do not mean the end of my business, I notice.
Losing my inner core sense of ‘here’ is dangerous. Losing my plans for the day, for the timing of things, is lovely. Noticing how I am never ‘right’ when I think something’s a disaster, or a hassle.
So many examples of All Is Well.
How do I know I was supposed to have some kind of computer gremlin weird email sending problem?
I did.
And how do I know it’s supposed to be over?
It is.
“Outside, the freezing desert night.
This other night inside grows warm, kindling.
Let the landscape be covered with thorny crust.
We have a soft garden in here.
The continents blasted, cities and little towns, everything become a scorched, blackened ball.
The news we hear is full of grief for that future,
but the real news inside here
is there’s no news at all.”
~ Rumi
Much love,
Grace
