Category: Eating Peace Videos

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What would be TERRIBLE about doing the opposite of the usual thing you do with food or eating?

It’s funny the way we’ll say all the time “I did it again”.

Ugh. I repeated the pattern of eating too much, eating off-balance, binge-eating, eating the foods that make me feel sick later on.

I overate at the company dinner. I stuffed myself all night at home alone and went to bed full. I ordered the same thing as my friends when we went out. I ignored my fullness when my aunt offered me seconds.

What if we studied that moment, instead of being AGAINST it?

What if instead of shame, horror, disappointment, and calling yourself names….you were kind?

Here’s how: You can ask yourself what’s going on, that would create such havoc in your eating?

“What’s bothering you, sweetheart?” you could said to yourself.

If it feels like you can’t possibly drum up such a compassionate, loving voice towards yourself, don’t worry. I never could much either when I had my compulsive tendencies with food and eating and self-criticism.

But the following exercise may offer something that heads at least in the same direction of curiosity about what’s off, when our eating is off.

Imagine you in that situation where you wind up eating every time.

(It’s OK if it’s the moment you wake up, because you think about food all day long).

Now ponder this question: What if you didn’t have food available as a thing you liked? What if food wasn’t interesting? What if food or eating wasn’t a possibility?

Don’t just say “that would be fantastic”.

This is about wondering what’s going on deep within that tends to move towards eating in a way that ultimately doesn’t really work, because you don’t know what else to do.

There’s something within that moves to food as a solution. What’s the problem? What needs to be solved?

Who would you be without eating as an action, choice, pattern, experience?

When I first really sat with this question, it frightened me. I thought if I didn’t have food and eating as a THING….I might go crazy with all the conflict I felt inside.

But who would I be without my Go To eating reaction?

A powerful question.

What’s this invitation, at a much deeper level, that eating off-balance is bringing you to see?

You can find your answers. I know you can.

Much love, Grace

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Silence, screaming thoughts, and the process of discovering what works and what doesn’t

I love that learning anything is a process.

By definition, a process is a series of actions, steps, adjustments, movements….all working together towards an end or a direction. A procession is a collection of people moving as a part of a greater whole, towards the same destination.

There’s an awareness of “time” with a process, but also action, movement, motion, flow. Going from there, to here. Or here, to there.

I love that eating peace is a process, just like “thinking” peace.

We’re identifying our stressful thoughts, watching what happens when we believe them (including the way we eat) and wondering what it would be like to not believe those thoughts.

It can be a vast and wonderful experience, this process. It’s life unfolding before us. We’re learning all the way.

And guess what?

I just offered an Eating Peace webinar training this most recent Saturday morning….and learned something.

I had added a segment, and it turned out to be waaaay too big a bite to chew. (I love those eating metaphors).

I learned that I need to remove the extra I wanted to offer–I get so excited about supporting people to enter an eating peace process–and leave it as “plenty” or “enough”. There’s always more we can learn, you know? And we don’t have to learn it all at once.

Just like meals. We don’t have to eat it all at once.

Food will be there again for us to enjoy when the body is once again ready. No need to pack it all in now.

If you missed the too-long Saturday webinar, join me for Tuesday’s webinar at 4 pm PT OR Thursday’s at 8 am PT. I love offering this webinar live and sharing it with you. I’ll answer questions about the Eating Peace Process and share about the content of the in-depth program at the very end.

Let’s question our thinking, watch what gets adjusted naturally….notice what works, what doesn’t. We’re refining our perceptions of reality, we’re dropping our stressful thinking (which doesn’t work) by investigating it closely. We’re opening up to movement in the direction of peace without blame, violence, control, or self-hatred.

What I notice is as we question our thoughts, find our own answers, we become deep experts in our own inner world.

When you have an inner world you’re open to exploring….peace arises in the mind.

Thinking peace leads to eating peace. No other option really.

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Slow as Molasses: The first belief to stand on to change your eating

My grandma used to comment and shake her head and my three sisters and I if she was taking us out……
“Slow as molasses”.
She always had a twinkle in her eye, and loved going on adventures.
The other day, I thought of her as I was spending some time with a little ebook I’ve written in the past, updating and changing it and adding to it.
I wanted to bring you an exercise you can do every single day for seven days….after considering the seven tricky and common beliefs people (including me) think that tend to keep us conflicted and in the middle of eating wars, not so much eating peace.
I like easy step-by-step recipes. Not long ago, I downloaded a lovely seven days of different green smoothies, and it made trying a new smoothie each day for seven days so incredibly easy! I wanted to give you a sense of one small thing you can do each day too, to help with self-inquiry and eating issues of any kind. To download the updated Eating Peace guide, click here. (Feedback welcome).
I know following a process isn’t always easy, when it comes to the mind. The mind is so fast, and so full. But that’s what I love so much about The Work of Byron Katie.
It’s a way to focus on one specific single dilemma, conflict, or painful belief, and explore it to see if it’s really true for you….step-by-step. What a relief to follow the directions, and investigate, and find the turnarounds.
Today, I made a video for you to share about exploring the very first painful belief I share in the Eating Peace eguide: Urgency.
I used to eat super fast. When I binged, I had a constant flow of energy to get more, more, more. Hardly tasting the thing I was currently eating before grabbing for the next bite.
Even slow graze-eating all evening, I would have a restless buzzing where I couldn’t stop. Or at least, I believed I couldn’t.
Believing there was a deep imperative need to go as fast as possible (fear, anxiety, demand, forcefulness) for many years blocked me from seeing many other thoughts I had that I might have been able to question, had I slowed down for two seconds.
To keep it simple, we’re only beginning with this extremely common shout the mind sometimes screams from inside, for speed. I used to feel like it was an emergency unless I ate something, or that there was no way I could calmly and slowly chew my meal. I ate literally walking out the door sometimes, and often in my car.
What could it offer, to slow down and be willing to see what else is happening with food, with my mind, with feelings, and with my contact with reality, besides responding to an emergency?
Almost always, my emergency was about relationship, the past, the imagined future, uncomfortable feelings, or self-criticism. When I slowed down my Emergency Switch, I began to understand more what was going on inside me that my eating reflected.
We can keep it simple. Join me here to wonder about the turnaround (hint: being slow). You can start practicing it today, if you follow along with the guide!

Eating Peace Process, a very in-depth high touch program to address all aspects of life with mind and food, is coming in only one month. Stay tuned to watch for my signature free live webinars on eating peace November 4th, 7th and 9th to learn more about how to bring this practice into your daily life, and find out about the immersion program. To read more about it, visit here. If you have questions, email me at any time grace@workwithgrace.com.
Much love,
Grace
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Eating Peace: the voice in your head doesn’t have to run your life

Everyone has voices running in their heads, have you noticed?

Of course, you can really only hear your own. It’s there when no one else is talking or you have a quiet space of time, or you’re all alone.

It sometimes talks as if it’s another person, saying “you should go to that party, you shouldn’t wear that, you should weed your yard…you should eat something!”

So goofy. Who is that?

And when it gets mean, or steers you to something you’d really rather not do….like eat more when you’re full, or eat that thing you know makes you feel sick later….then it’s especially odd.

Do I have a companion in my head that’s not exactly friendly?

Yes, it sure seems so. Not friendly at all. Downright violent and totally destructive sometimes.

The thing is, you don’t have to listen to it.

I know that sounds so mundanely simple, you might be thinking “Doh! Why didn’t I think of that!” because you HAVE listened many times and bumped into that voice over and over, and it’s guided your actions or movements, your thoughts and emotions.

But today, despite it sounding a little too simplistic, I suggest you invite that voice in, and find out what it’s really made of, find out what it has to say, and perhaps why it’s chirping all those suggestions that don’t really serve your best interest.

AND most importantly, treat it like it’s not exactly sane. Don’t listen to it. Who’s in charge anyway? You are. The full and complete you. The one who’s listening.

Much love,

Grace

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Feelings are not the enemy….or are they?

Feelings!

Sometimes feelings are so chaotic and wild, we feel crazy as they ride through us, along with all our thoughts that caused the feelings in the first place. Feelings seem to cause distress, turmoil, upset and fatigue.

Then, we often want to eat. Whether hungry or not.

(Or smoke, drink, clean, work, gamble, etc).

Escape from the feelings! Change the channel!

But what if you’re treating these wild and moveable sensations in the body like their the enemy, or something you shouldn’t be experiencing?

Long ago, when I was first healing from truly dreadful off-balance eating, I discovered there were a few feelings on my list that I never wanted to feel. Ever.

Anger.

Fear.

Humiliation.

Aloneness or solitude I could handle. Sadness, that was OK. Anxiety was uncomfortable but not the end of the world. Excitement or nervous anticipation was partially fun. Disappointment I thought I could quickly recover from.

But deep anger, resentment, fury, rage–these I judged as horrible. Only mean people have those feelings. Bad people.

Fear was also too uncomfortable. I felt nauseated, couldn’t sleep, short of breath. I’d do anything to get away from fear! (Including eat when not hungry).

Humiliation was the worst of all. Feeling ashamed, or guilty that I did something wrong or someone disapproved of me. Ugh. It was the worst of all. Then I really wanted to hide in my house and eat sweet things, so I felt sweeter about the world. (It never worked for long term).

Something that helped immensely over time, was taking a look at feelings I disliked the most….the ones I considered ENEMIES….

….and judge them, using The Work of Byron Katie.

Is it true you’re a bad person if you experience fear, or anger, or shame?

YES.

Look at those other people over there, acting terrified, or rageful, or deeply self-effacing. Gross. So unpleasant, and unattractive.

Can you absolutely know it’s true it makes someone a BAD person if you experience these human feelings?

No. Reality includes all these feelings. It appears to be a part of the human condition.

How do you react when you believe something’s awful and bad?

I avoid it. I try to get away, stay away, and crush it within. I try not to be angry, fearful, or shameful….ever, ever, ever.

If I DO experience these feelings, I eat.

I don’t ask anyone for help (they’ll think I’m bad, too). I don’t have any other outlets. I try to control what can’t be controlled. Feelings.

It’s a ton of work. I have to stay home a lot, and not be exposed to other people.

But who would I be without this thought? Who would I be without this belief that having these uncomfortable feelings makes me BAD? (Or anyone bad)?

You can look at that other person who’s feeling big feelings you don’t like and see what you’d think of them without the belief they shouldn’t be expressing that feeling.

What would this be like?

Wow.

I’d be feeling these terrible feelings, like riding a roller coaster, and letting them run their course–even hearing their message. Honoring what they have to say. No getting over them.

Allowing the feeling to be here, and allowing me to be a human being feeling it, without judgment.

That feels like freedom.

Turning the thought around: feelings (anger, fear, humiliation) are GOOD to feel. Not bad. It’s only my thoughts about these feelings that are bad, not the feelings themselves.

When I began to live this way with my feelings, even just a little bit, guess what happened to the urge to eat? It relaxed.

It was no longer necessary to stuff in food aggressively with anger. It was no longer necessary to panic with ice cream in bed. It was no longer necessary to shamefully buy something I liked to eat, and eat too much of it in my car.

In the Eating Peace Process, we spend an entire module or segment of the program looking at how to work with feelings.

Especially the ones we resist or hate.

Who would we be without our stories about feelings?

Two live calls per week and many presentations you’ll listen to on your own, this course offers you a structure to thoroughly look at your relationship to food, eating and your body from every angle. To read more about it the Eating Peace Process please visit here.

Much love,

Grace