Today I received a voice message. The person was a stranger, and she left a very long message, expressing gratitude for the wonderful care her relative was receiving from me.
But I never heard of this relative. She had the wrong person. She had done a google search and landed on the wrong counselor/coach/facilitator and called me, instead of the correct person.
So I called her back to tell her she had been mistaken, and I told her she should continue her search so she could find the right person.
She said “Oh, I am so glad you called because I have been confused, and really wanted to say thank you because this is what happened, and then this other thing happened, and then I was sad, and then yet another thing happened, and this is how it was handled, and I was surprised, and then someone else did something, and another person said something else, and then another thing changed, and then more people did these things and said other things, and then I was happy…”
I reminded her that I was actually the wrong number…so she might want to try to find the right number so she could call THAT person, who might like to hear the story.
In my mind, the fun thing I noticed with this sweet woman, who was probably elderly although I can’t be sure….is that she had her story.
This story was a true story for her, and a very important story, and a very up-and-down story with many twists and characters, and it didn’t matter who was listening really.
Just like me.
Boy howdy, in the past could I ever tell you the tale of what happened and who did it, and who said what, and you could listen for a few days and I probably wouldn’t be done.
Maybe the not-so-distant past!
Byron Katie often speaks of the benefit for someone doing The Work of not “going into story”.
This is a diving into and going under water with explaining and justifying and asking for advice and finding out who is right and who is wrong and hashing out the details.
This is very different from watching events unfold, and telling them in a most clear, powerful way, so that someone hears you….maybe for the first time.
I find that when I tell a story, when the core of it is for my own awareness, to find out what I was believing and replay it in order to wake up, then this is the place the story can exist.
I hold that story in my mind. I look at it from every angle. I feel the emotions, the sensations. I note the ideas.
This is the way I make discoveries….I see my story for what it is. A story.
Anthony De Mello, the wonderful Jesuit priest who died in 1986, loved to use a wonderful technique of telling a story about himself (and he had his clients do this) in third person. “He had breakfast, he took a walk, she talked with him and he said…”
For awareness, for entering the zone of the observer, you watch and tell the story that you feel concern about.
Then, you write out your stressful thoughts. The thoughts or judgments or ideas that you think about this story that bring discomfort, anger, fear, terror, irritation, sadness.
Then, as you question your responses, your thinking, your beliefs…..then your story will be telling a story on yourself. It will not be a story of proving that what happened to you was truly terrible. It will not be the story of a poor victim, or of a bad person you know, or how you’ve been wronged.
It will be a holy story, a sacred story, a beautiful story. You will not want to change the story. In fact, you will leave that story alone, and it will be the way it is.
Even that person telling a really, really long story that “seems” unimportant or unrelated to you will be OK.
“Not wanting to change what is becomes a state of mind that is literally unimaginable. There’s no sacrifice in it, no deprivation– quite the opposite, in fact. It means to gain everything, the everything that is already yours, and the effect is peace. People who use The Work at home as a practice tell me that they find their own freedom. There is such joy in that, such peace, and it’s a story that can’t be told.” ~ Byron Katie
Love,
Grace
Horrible Food Wonderful Food Weekend In-Person Intensive Seattle January 12-13, 2013 Saturday 10 – 5:30, Sunday 1:30-5:30. $215. To register click HERE now and then send me an email grace@workwithgrace.com.
Mark your calendar for Breitenbush, the end of June 2013! We will be looking at all aspects of what we consider to be flaws in the body, and Un-doing our beliefs about them. Stay tuned if you’d like to join me and Susan Grace Beekman from June 26-30, 2013. You can change your internal beliefs about what you think bodies should be like….and change your entire experience of being in yours.
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