Month: May 2018

Tomorrow it’s that time again: First Friday open inquiry for everyone online (or on your phone). This time we’re meeting 7:00 am-8:30 am Pacific Time/10 am Eastern/4 pm Europe. (Next month June 1st we’ll be meeting at noon PT). By request I’m switching the times around so people from different time zones can come. Get the link and instructions for joining for free right here.

I haven’t always loved audio teleclass connections for learning or sharing time with people live. So many possibilities of something not working. Or being bored by the content. Or getting distracted by something else happening on my computer.

Remember when teleconferences first started getting offered? Dropped calls, bells and whistles, background noise, internet failure, horrible audio with weird alien spaceship sounds and peoples voices getting distorted, scratchy static. And then there’s video conferences, too.

Sometimes it seemed like a comedy of errors. (For a 3 min laugh watch this). Hilarious.

Somehow, despite the bumpy ride, I’ve grown to love it. Coming online whether audio or video is the primary way I wind up connecting with the majority of people in The Work.

But you might notice thoughts like these, and I’ve had each and every one when it comes to meetings, of many different kinds:

• this is soooooo slow
• I can’t relate to that person who’s talking
• I don’t have this thought, ever
• I’d rather be ________
• this is too painful or vulnerable to share (or hear)
• I hate that person’s voice
• I’m bored

Even on a shared call in The Work itself, I found it powerful to sit with my very thoughts about what I believed was working or not working in that moment. This inquiry can be applied to any group setting. Any meeting (even in person). Any process where communicating appears to be happening.

It’s fascinating what shows up in these kinds of inquiries where we’re not really that upset, but we still have irritable thinking.

So if you’ve ever been in a meeting or sharing group of some kind and found it annoying, picture that moment and let’s do The Work!

Long ago, I was on a Board and I loved the cause. But I didn’t have a good attitude towards the meetings.

Meetings are dull. This moment is boring, a waste of time, I can’t relate, I gotta get outta here….

Is it true?

Yes! And it’s just getting worse!

Can you absolutely know it’s true?

Pretty much. Yeah. LOL.

How do you react when you think listening and being where you are is a waste of time?

I figure out how to escape. I’m outta here. My mind is a million miles away. I might start thinking about options for what to do next, the minute I hang up or leave. Everything else becomes more important than this moment. I could be doing laundry, writing, reading, outside, eating, drinking, watching TV. Come to think of it I am really thirsty and I have to go to the bathroom.

Who would you be without this thought?

Kind of weird.

That Board meeting comes to mind from long ago. Or a school classroom as a child.

Who would I be in that situation, without my thoughts of irritation, escape and boredom?

I’d speak up. I might even interrupt or share. It wouldn’t have to mean I’d jump in and attack someone for going on too long or disagreeing with them. But I wouldn’t wait, somehow. I’d feel a thousand times more solid and loving and connected to the people in the room.

I might notice during the meeting the cadence of voices, the people’s attention and their faces, the air in the room, the quietness of the space between sound. I’d see the empty white board on the wall. Or in my home while on a telecall, I’d look through the skylights at the tall gorgeous pine tree overhead where eagles land. I’d really listen to the voices I’m hearing.

I’d feel the connection we have.

Noticing the subtlety of being in this insignificant, non-memorable moment and feeling it come more to life, like in full color instead of black-and-white.

Hello world. How did we all get here?

As I questioned my thinking about being a part of teleconferences or meetings: I’d fall into more of a meditation of rest, and calm, sound and wondering. I’d know how to be with this moment for my benefit, and how important each and every participant is who is there–a unique moment on planet earth.

“Only in this moment are we in reality. You and everyone can learn to live in the moment, as the moment, to love whatever is in front of you, to love it as you….The miracle of love comes to you in the presence of the uninterpreted moment.” ~ Byron Katie

Turning the thought around: This meeting is interesting, meaningful, a great use of time.

Why not?

And it doesn’t mean I have to stay rooted to my chair, or force myself to be excited when I’m not. I can get up and say with clarity and honesty that I’m not able to stay any longer (I did this about a month ago).

Even though I left the meeting, I can still find very interesting things about that moment, and what was being shared. I can see if there’s anything I’m against, anything I heard that triggered me unconsciously (the answer was “yes” in that moment I left that meeting last month).

Turning it around again: My thoughts are boring and dull, meaningless, a waste of time….especially when it comes to this meeting, this way of thinking.

Haha! So true. I worked myself up into a tizzy and proclaimed with guilty excuses “I have to quit!” without contemplating one single way I might help make this meeting be awesome.

Long ago on the Board, I quit contributing to an amazing cause I really care about, just because I didn’t like the meetings. I didn’t talk to one single person about it on the Board. I never tried to switch it up. I thought of myself as very tiny and insignificant–it never occurred to me to share what I was thinking.

What if I had known how to do The Work and show up (or not) with loving kindness, clarity, action, a sense of responsibility in a good way, movement, life?

Hmmm. Maybe it’s time to see how that non-profit is doing I care so much about, and consider participating again.

Who would you be without your thoughts about meetings, gatherings, conferences?