Tag: the work of byron katie on pain

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No mistake….even with physical pain?

Could pain not be a mistake in Reality?
Could pain not be a mistake in Reality?

Sometimes, the Year of Inquiry group is just what I myself need.

Last night, we looked again at the worksheets we wrote on this bodily condition we don’t like (even hate).

Belly too big, fatigue to intense, energy too low, body too skinny, hearing too poor, face too wrinkled, age too old.

I’ve had a thought for days, because of great pain in my hamstring (no idea why it has returned) that there’s something wrong with my body because of the physical pain.

Guess what happens when I believe this thought?

This may sound a bit melodramatic, but it’s what happens.

I picture my own death.

“You only have about 15-25 years left anyway. Maybe now is a good time to say sayonara. Why not….it’s all down hill from here. I’m probably going to have the same back trouble as my mom. Things are not working. This is horrible. I can’t stand it. My body sucks. I will never achieve, succeed, create [fill in the blank] because of the state of this body.”

How amazing to have The Work, and a beautiful group of people who all call in together at the same time to look at these kinds of thoughts.

Is it true, this condition is so awful, and it prevents me from living my life “normally” or from going to the spa and being there naked?

No.

Who would I be without the belief that my body should be different than it is?

Yes, even THAT condition.

I remember having cancer….but yesterday I looked at that damaged hamstring I tore up 3 years ago surely never-to-be-the-same again.

Who would we be without the beliefs in our bodies being “wrong” or “ugly” or unacceptable?

Holy Moly.

Pretty mind-blowing.

Able to find the humor in this, and notice there are no perfect bodies, anywhere….certainly none that remain perfect.

The way of it appears to be decline, damage, decay, a return to silence somehow.

The turnarounds I heard last night almost brought tears to my eyes, they were so moving, so powerful.

Here’s what people in Year of Inquiry found:

  • My thinking is too bloated about all this.
  • My body is beautiful.
  • My energy level is perfect, and allows me to meditate (nothing else is possible)–isn’t meditating what I love?
  • I don’t have to save the world.
  • I AM saving the world, by questioning this very thought about my body.
  • If I can be OK with this imperfection, I might find freedom.
  • This condition is my friend.
  • This condition gives me the opportunity to get out of the business of my body, and hand it over back to God.

To be able to find benefits, and even be willing to be in this body, just this one I have, is not insignificant.

This body I have treated like shit, dismissively, with hatred, with anger, with disgust, with fear.

What if all that’s necessary for absolute freedom is to love this body, now, it whatever condition it is in….unconditionally?

Who knows what kind of power this could bring to the world.

Through this inquiry, I am enlightened to another way to be, to another possibility, another option.

Without “my” thinking my thoughts about what’s wrong with being physical….all is very well indeed. I’ll get to move on eventually, and I’m not in charge. Halleluia.

“Who would you be without the thought that would argue with reality, that would argue with what is? Watch you life, drop your story…look at the difference in your life without that belief. Same life, no tricks, just you not believing that thought. With the thought, stress, busy mind, lost mind, confused mind, suffering. Welcome to reality, the way of it. There is no mistake in the universe. The universe is brilliant. Everything is born on time, and dies on time. When we argue with it, we’re blind to it. Why is it better off that the way it is, is the way of it? What are the advantages? If God is good, why would this happen?” ~ Byron Katie

Hmm. Why should my hamstring hurt so badly today?

It’s giving me a signal to go back to that great body-worker I found. It’s helping me remember I want quiet, relaxation, gentleness and less doing in my life. I’m learning to appreciate aging, and rest. It’s reminding me I could have only this day, and to let go of everything and all plans. I love the state of no “have to” and Doing Nothing. It’s calling me to peace, right here.

Thank you, body. Thank you for your temporary and incredibleness. Thank you for lasting as long as you have so far. Thank you for one more day, and knowing there will be a last day for me at some point, and it will be brilliant.

Much love, Grace

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Hurting And Not Hurting Flow Together

Yesterday I had to lie flat on my bed all afternoon, taking ibuprofen (anti-inflammatory pain pills).

Remember the right hamstring story from six months ago?

Well, even if you don’t….this lower right back hamstring nerve area was hurting, the place I tore last year followed by surgery. I tweaked it dancing recently. Again.

Rats. There is nothing good about this! Fist shaking at the sky!

This is definitely a problem!!

Doing The Work on physical ailments can be really amazing. Let’s go for it!

Is it true that this is bad, I hate the pain, nothing good can come of it? Is it true that it hurts?

Yes. I can still feel it now, what are you talking about…is it true.Jeez.

But can you absolutely know that this is a bad situation, a situation to hate, a problem, a difficulty…that this really does hurt?

No.

I worked with clients, answered emails, even had an awesome session with a beautiful inquirer who always devotes two hours to her work, and my back and hamstring never crossed my mind during any of these activities or interactions.

How do I react when I don’t like the physical sensation I feel?

I clutch against it. I think about the future and how it will get worse. I think things like “I have to stop dancing, I can’t bike, I can’t run, I’m aging, this is getting worse, there is no way for this to go but downhill, I’ll be dealing with this forever until I’m dead.”

I get pictures of my mom and her own back issues and want to interview her about exactly every minutia of experience she’s had, what she did, how I can short cut the process to No Pain.

I react also by ignoring the pain. Pain, what pain? Who cares?

So who would you be without the thought that this is wrong, difficult, bad, that I’m against this sensation? Without the thought that I hurt?

“You put someone that understands the mind in a cell and lock the door and tell them that they’re never going to be released and that’s it for life……and if they love everything they think, then they really are experiencing gratitude. If they don’t love what they think, it’s a torture chamber.” ~ Byron Katie

Without the thought, I notice a very strong sensation, tingling, I want to either lie still or shift around. I notice I forget about it as the mind becomes interested in other things, the room gets fuller, then the attention towards this area becomes more acute again.

I feel pressure, like a rock with sharp edges, stuck in my lower right back. I think of calling the doctor, or calling the physical therapist….maybe I do.

Without the thought that this is a grave, serious, terrible, difficult or annoying situation (this could apply to any situation, right?) then I am simply here, living this experience.

“It’s amazing to see what we end up doing with our Will. We actually assert our will in opposition to the flow of life. If something happens that we don’t like, we resist it. But since what we’re resisting has already taken place, what good is it to resist?…It does not do anything to the reality of that situation.” ~ Michael Singer

Turning the thought around: this is a wonderful situation, it doesn’t hurt. 

This is not denial, it’s actually playing with the awareness of all things, all sides….entering non-duality.

Yesterday, I lay in bed and did The Work with others for 7 hours. I had breaks, I wrote, I got up and ate a delicious orange and leftover pizza. I talked with my funny and beautiful daughter.

How spectacular to notice that even though it hurts, it also doesn’t hurt.

Much love, Grace