I was shaking my head.
Really? I did that?
I can’t believe it. What a dunce.
Someone wrote to me saying she really wanted to find out more about the Eating Peace Retreat in California but the link didn’t work.
“What link?” I wrote back.
Well….turns out that would be ALL the links basically from when I created the facebook event, several different posts on facebook, the “how to register” pretty link (a way to shorten links) inside one of these Grace Notes.
So you see, I had updated my actual webpage with all the retreat information, and decided to shorten (forgetting this would CHANGE) the title and name of that page.
So everywhere I had previously posted information about the retreat now led to an old webpage name, which no longer existed.
I actually sent out announcements…..Hi everyone! Sign up right here!
With a link that if you clicked it….you got an error message saying the page did not exist.
(Did I WANT no one to find the page? What the…?)
I just made my airplane reservations. I’m going! There are enough people registered that I’m all in! There’s no way it will be canceled bar some unforeseen death and dismemberment situation. Or, OK, there are sometimes other reasons a little less dark and drastic for cancellations, but you get my point.
So….I knew to do The Work (after calling myself a dunce) and I allowed the thoughts to come forward.
Have you ever forgotten something at work, or at home, or lost something super important, or made a mistake, or broken something, or did something on the computer that turned out to create a problem, or hit your thumb with a hammer?
What was your immediate reaction?
- You are an idiot!
- You shouldn’t do this by yourself
- Why don’t you get help for these types of details?
- What’s wrong with you?
- I’m not good enough, organized enough, strong enough, smart enough, big enough, financially sound enough to hire someone–see bullet #1
But if I paused, and got off the I-Screwed-Up ferris wheel, all of these thoughts point most fundamentally to one underlying assumption.
Posting the “incorrect” web page was bad.
Let’s do The Work.
Is that true, that having the wrong web page link out there on the internet was bad?
Yes!!
How on earth could that be good?
(Why I oughta….I’m trying to run a business here! People need to read about the retreats I’m offering! Are you nuts??!)
But are you sure? Can you absolutely know it was HORRIBLE and worth yelling at yourself like you committed a crime?
Uh, now that I really think about it….no.
I have no idea if it was bad!
Wow.
The answer is “no”. Not absolutely true.
Who would I be without this belief that I made a mistake, the web page should have existed, I shouldn’t have put in the “wrong” link….or that it even WAS the wrong link?
(Ha ha, that’s funny….it wasn’t the wrong link…..that is HILARIOUS).
But really. Without the belief it was?
I notice it’s still a month until this retreat. It’s OK, people are coming, I’ve got my plane tickets, planning is underway, quite a few more people are considering attending, it may sell out.
Nothing terrible is happening.
Before the thought, sitting in my warm living room basking in the glow of inquiry after a beautiful afternoon with the private monthly in-person group who just left.
After the thought (after receiving the message), sitting in my warm living room, still basking, and now my mom is there for supper and my husband has brought delicious food.
Turning the thought around: posting the “incorrect” internet page is NOT terrible…..it’s….wonderful? Seriously?
But let’s look.
How could it be at least OK, and no big deal, that the non-existent link was posted?
I’ve already noticed how nothing bad is happening. At all. That’s pretty big all in itself.
Someone wrote to me, and asked.
Reality offered correction, without me having to handle it—it was brought to my attention with zero effort on my part.
Kinda nice to know I didn’t have to be vigilant, or in charge, for the link to be spotlighted.
You know? Now that I think about it….it’s pretty awesome that the idea of the eating peace retreat was so appealing to a total stranger who found it on the internet, that she bothered to look me up and message me on facebook and ask how to get more info because the link she clicked was broken.
Most of all, the reason it’s awesome this happened is I get to notice when I think something was a mistake, and I did it, it feels off and kinda mean the way I have a heart-attack and call myself names…..
…..and I’m here to enjoy myself and this astonishing life full of love, and joy, and sorrow and change and silence.
I’m here to love and deeply appreciate this moment right here, right now, with all its mistakes and faux pas and dork-faced reactions and being human.
It’s so much more fun falling in love with myself, a human being, than constantly wishing I were different, like a non-mistake-maker.
Isn’t what I always want happening in the center of this supposed “error”?
The feeling of absolute freedom, to not “have to” do anything, to not “have to” remain in control, to freely make mistakes and readjustments, to feel an inner life of….Peace, no matter what happens?
Wow.
Right now, I am having a ball laughing at how things unfold like this—and waiting to see what other advantages come out of posting an incorrect link to the Eating Peace Retreat next month.
Can’t wait to find out!
Meanwhile….I hope the link right here, in this Grace Note today, works.
But if it doesn’t, oh goodie! (Ha ha!) Hit reply and ask me anything you’re wondering about. Happy to help in whatever way I can.
“We are constantly trying to hold it all together. If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.” ~ Michael Singer in The Untethered Soul
Much love, Grace