I’m excited because people are signing up for the new retreat I’m offering March 25-27 in north Seattle on Abundance, Desire and The Work.
I notice is everyone signed up so far has already done a retreat with me in the past.
Which is awesome of course….I love each and every person I get to spend time with and when they return to dive into more of their own work, it’s such an honor to witness.
But if you don’t know me particularly, or even if you DO….
….you might be wondering….
….what is Grace talking about with this Abundance and Desire topic?
The sub-title of the retreat is: Doing The Work on What Keeps Us From What We Really Want–Reality, Now!
But aren’t abundance and desire fun?
Of course they are!
However.
I saw within myself such disappointment, discouragement, unworthiness, sadness and suffering when I didn’t get what I secretly wanted.
I wanted to understand the feeling of being, acting, moving, living and seeing what would happen if I wasn’t motivated by the future, but instead by the present.
We all have visions of what we desire.
Our dreams, goals, wishes, longings.
If only it were like THAT….I would be happy.
OK, maybe I can’t realistically know I’d be happy. But I’m absolutely positive I’d be happier.
How could I not be just a little bit happier if I got that thing I’m dreaming of?
I mean, this is a no-brainer, right?
I dream of more money, I dream of the beautiful soul mate, I dream of being in relationship with “x”, I dream of being addiction-free, I dream of being enlightened, I dream of adventure, joy, bliss, peace, self-realization, adventure, seeing the world, health, happiness.
Maybe I don’t know what it’s really like until I get there, but heck I really, really, really am positive it’s going to be good.
It’s got to be better than this.
Right now I happen to be in the middle of the Money telecourse I teach once or twice a year. The participants are truly amazing at seeing clearly how much they want more money, how sure that money represents safety, ease, independence, power or freedom.
I get it.
I feel like if I won the lottery this afternoon, I’d jump up and down and feel so excited and start planning my trip to Turkey immediately. And buy my new Prius. And update the scratched up floors in my house and fix up the garage.
I have all these personal all-about-me kinds of fun ideas and visions come into my mind.
It gets extended beyond only me, too. I feel altruistic. I’d open a hospice center, I’d open an inpatient treatment center using The Work to address emotional eating, I’d plant trees in my neighborhood where they chopped the diseased ones down.
A man I know longs for a committed partner and everyone thinks he’s a catch. He’d love a companion on this life adventure.
He wants what so many people want….tender conversations, inside jokes, intimate touch, support in hard times.
Another student of mine wants youth and health. She’s on a mission to find healing from her disease and spending all her life savings to rock bottom to live longer than anticipated.
So understandable, and so honestly human.
Nothing wrong with any of these desires and wants.
Except.
Have you noticed how you treat this present moment, when you want something different than what’s happening?
Brushing through this and flipping through to the turnaround really speedy and lightly isn’t going to generally feel very clear, easy and peaceful.
For some reason, quickly doing a more positive thinking process goes like this: “Oh yeah, I forgot….I’m gonna concentrate only on loving what is. Doing it! Rock on!!”
Maybe sometimes this actually “works” to move our minds into a different way of perceiving by jumping to the opposite. But usually, my mind then once again returns to the wishing, slowly but surely….
….unless I do The Work.
Unless I really, really take a look at what is Now and what is Desired and investigate closely to see what’s true, for me, genuinely and honestly.
So let’s say you want ______.
You know what it is.
Admit it. You don’t have to tell anyone.
It’s OK if it’s money. Again.
But maybe it’s something else.
The most important thing I’ve found to understand what happens in this process is to hold still and focus on that one dream you have, that thing you wish for, without jumping to something else.
Get that picture as clearly as possible in your head of that life you so desire.
Compare it to right now.
Yep. It’s better over there.
Pause.
Is it true?
Are you sure if you take a bite of that yummy delicious thing, you’ll feel better?
Yes, yes, yes.
I am positive that if I just had one bite of food in this terribly hungry moment, I will feel better.
I’ve proven it 1000 times.
It feels good to eat when starving and ahhhh, I get so relieved.
I am positive if I had one word of praise from that awesome, sexy hunk of a man I would feel thrilled….and better than this boring moment here.
I am positive if I had a million dollars descend on me through the lottery channels or some special winning that I would feel ecstatic….and have more options and a changed life from this limited scarce reality.
Notice how there are two visions.
This One Here Now.
That One There Then.
And we get so sure the other one is better, right?
I know how I act when I believe my life would be better, enhanced, joyful, thrilling, adventurous, calmer, blissful, free….IF I only had that thingie come true.
I’m in pursuit.
I’m waiting.
I’m reaching for that delicious carrot and it keeps moving just a wee teensy bit out of reach so I’m almost falling over trying to get it, and never succeeding.
Can you feel it in your body, when you’re reaching?
Stretch, reach, strain, tighten, reach, cramp, push, run, exhaust, try more, try different, try again.
But who would you be without the belief that the thingie you want, that vision you see or feel so sure of in your mind….
….will give you happiness?
Wait.
You mean.
Are you saying there’s no possibility of happiness?
That SUCKS!
That’s WORSE!
You’re taking all my hope away….oh no!!
Hand wringing!
Please don’t take my hope. That’s the only thing I have to hold on to. I’m reaching maybe….but it keeps me going. Please.
I will get there.
I will get that person, place, condition, enlightened state of being!!
Pause.
Who would I be without the thought that something else will make me happier?
Noooooooo!
OK, so slow it down.
Relax.
Nothing will be destroyed, except maybe a few thoughts here and there. Look around, everything is still the same, OK?
You are simply considering who you would be WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT of a future happy place.
No getting better, later.
Stay. Stay. Don’t rush off.
This is it, right here.
This is what you got.
Here it is.
If you’re like me….it’s bloody difficult to stay, with this genius mind so good at imagining improvements and possibilities.
I’m not saying you have to give up your mind, though.
What if this is it….and “it” includes your brain thinking away and dreaming and conjuring up brilliant (and troubling) ideas?
Say: “Thank you mind, for showing me about 150 movies at the same time about the future and about the past. With the sound playing on all of them. At once.”
And then leave the movie-playing alone and let it do it’s thing.
But notice what else is here.
Who are you, without this belief that the Thing will get you to some better place?
(Thing = money, love, health, jelly bean, success, awakeness).
The mind will say…..
Naaawwwwww.
This seriously can’t be “it”.
This is freakin’ boring.
Nothing’s going on.
Pause.
Pause.
Oh.
OH!!
THIS is it?
OH!!!
Can you hear the deafening Silence? Can you feel how OK you are no matter what you’ve ever been through in your entire life that’s hard? Can you feel how OK you are if you never achieve that future vision you’ve been hoping for?
Turning the thought around: There is no “better”, in the future. Even five minutes from now. There is no “worse” that once happened before. It’s all a figment. It’s all images and movies playing in various and completely different genres (horror, winner, tragedy, comedy).
All that goin’ on?
It’s all just the mind, doing it’s THANG.
Sing to it now….
You are more than your mind working it out.
Sit still with that part of you that immediately follows the mind. Let it not race behind the pictures your mind shows you so quickly. Let it walk more slowly.
Widen the gap between thinking about your dreams and sorrows….
….and reality.
If I can attempt this, if I can stop just a minute….
….so can you.
“The things you think you love–you have no idea–you don’t…You can’t get away with it [being against what is] because your true nature is kind. Everyone’s trying with all their might to believe what they don’t believe. We believe our thoughts, and Hell is created.” ~ Byron Katie in Seattle 1/2016
If you need a little help, with the support of others to stay focused on inquiry and set yourself free from the difficulty of wanting what you don’t have….
….come to the Abundance and Desire Retreat.
Here’s what I am finding out over time, through the powerful support of inquiry. (You may be surprised).
Everything is here right now for my happiness. It’s amazing.
It’s astonishing.
As you realize this, right here in this moment….
….as you notice that everything you need is here now, you are inspired, astonished, relaxing, laughing, calming down, finding peace, hearing, feeling.
All those things, conditions, experiences, people or items you wanted before, so that you’d feel happy?
Completely unnecessary.
Happiness is present.
And THEN….they begin to happen after all. Now.
“Serenity is within, do not seek it without.” ~ the Buddha
Much love,
Grace
Join the Abundance and Desire Retreat. Doing The Work on what keeps us from what we really want: Reality Now! March 25-27. Friday night through Sunday afternoon. $295. Three private rooms plus a couple of very comfy air mattresses available if you need to stay overnight (just ask).