Untangling Passion, Love and Romance

Untangling Passion, Love and Romance With The Work:
Untangling the Passion, Attraction, Love, Past Terrors, Future Worries, Fear, Confusion, Tenderness, and Joyful Intimacy                   

Next session WOMEN ONLY: Thursdays 10-11:30 am Pacific time, January 22 – March 12, 2015. 8 weeks. Scroll down for PayPal button and click to register.

It’s amazing how powerful romance and physical desire is.

So powerful it has the potential to turn this dance that is precious and loving, fun (even hilarious) and intimate, vulnerable, pleasurable, sweet, exciting and freeing…

…into absolute shame, hell, hate, control, confusion, embarrassment, desperation, neediness, helplessness, humiliation, rage, violence, power, loss and hurt.

And part of what makes romance and sex so difficult is all the secrecy, the hiding and keeping it all behind closed doors—not even talking about “it” with your partner when you ARE behind closed doors!

How have you managed your feelings and thoughts about attraction or intimate interactions, or references to being sexual?

• you ignore it when people make sexual comments around you or to you
• you avoid conversations with people who mention sex
• you move towards conversations with people who mention sex, ignoring others
• you long for something different than what you currently experience with a partner
• you replay terrible memories that involved something sexual and hurt yourself over and over again with the movie running in your own mind
• you mix up attraction with fear
• you stick with images and fantasies instead of real people to experience sexual contact that is safer, even if it’s fake
• you jump from partner to partner, or wish you had something more or better, all the time
• you remain suspicious of pleasure and focus on accomplishment in other areas like work, family, money, or fitness
• you try to control your contact with others so that you never have to say yes to sex
• you try to control your contact with others so that you never have to say no to sex
• you never ask for what you really want, or explore it
• you don’t trust yourself
• you don’t trust your partner

“If you love me, you’ll do what I want. This is a thought most people have believed for as long as they can remember. The child expects his playmate to want to play the games HE wants to play. If not, there’s a big fight, and they both stomp off to find an adult to complain to: He’s not my friend anymore! The belief that a friend is someone who will do what you want is already fully active in this child. He learned it from his parents, who told him they loved him and rewarded him with praise when he obeyed them, and punished him when he didn’t. His parents never questioned the thought that obedience is an expression of love, so why would he?”—Byron Katie in I Need Your Love, Is It True?

Doing the Work helps identify what you believe about sex in the first place, what you believe should have happened or shouldn’t have happened with others, how you would direct the world if you could.

And EVERYONE is welcome: abstainers, adventurous, promiscuous, scared, straight, gay,  strange, conservative, liberal, macho, shy, obsessed, addicted, celibate…we all think the same thoughts (even though we often feel like we’re the only one on the planet).

So why not make romance and touch a wonderfully “ordinary” part of life…not so charged and dangerous or uncertain, not something longed for so desperately…but an experience that is normal for you, playful, sacred, fun, and honest.

“Love wouldn’t deny a breath. It wouldn’t deny a grain of sand or a speck of dust. It is totally in love with itself; and it delights in acknowledging itself through its own presence, in every way, without limit. It embraces it all, everything from the murderer and the rapist to the saint to the dog and cat. Love is so vast within itself that it will burn you up. It’s so vast that there’s nothing you can do with it. All you can do is BE it”—Byron Katie in Question Your Thinking, Change The World

Once these beliefs are identified by looking carefully and really seeing the memory, person, event or experience clearly that produces pain for you….then you can question your beliefs and find the most incredible peace, and genuine pleasure, within your own heart, mind and body.

Fear dissolves, repulsion drops away, anger and hatred, sadness and desperate longing all melt. Romance and your physical experiences with another person become simple and kind, and truly honest. Intimacy is easy.

Freedom to Speak About Sex is Wonderful:
Thanks to all of you for such a wonderful teleclass and the freedom to speak about sex as if I was talking about a nose or arm, how cool that we have this time together…and thank you Grace for having the foresight to bring this topic to the open space of presence for us to question it.—Tanya, teleclass participant

Sex Is So Much Better
“Since putting my thoughts up against inquiry with regards to my sexuality
and questioning my thoughts about Sex, my experience of sex and orgasm is sooooo much better. I have noticed that I am not putting myself under pressure to please him, I am being pleased and not judging what should or shouldn’t be doing or feeling it should be a certain way to have enjoyment. It’s just happening and I am really looking forward to the sexuality teleclass to see what else I can experience. Yet don’t take my word for it.. question it for yourself.”—Sexuality teleclass participant

I Sure Like This Freedom!

I thought your class was amazing when I took it…BUT… I’ve continued to do The Work with a couple of the participants and have watched myself become more comfortable with my body, my thinking, and my sexuality. I realize how focused I was on my partner’s pleasure—in order to enjoy myself. And though I still notice myself changing, I just don’t feel as guilty, secretive, ashamed, or even concerned about my sexuality…it’s become so much more like a normal part of life…and more fun. That’s
why I’m taking the class again. I sure like this freedom!”–Man from Midwest teleclass participant

Join the next teleclass group now, a courageous and open journey into this secretive topic for many. How fun to bring it to light and do the Work together as a group. If you’re ready to register for the next class, write grace@workwithgrace.com to make sure you’re on the roster, and use the button here to enroll.